


Loving The Alien

by cannibalisticshadows



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Alien Biology, Developing Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Gore, Non-Human Genitalia, OR IS IT, Prompt Fic (more or less), Romance, The entire story goes from a G to an E, This Got Oddly Domestic But It's A Good Thing, Violence, Xenophilia, just a wee bit of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2019-09-17 11:49:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 39,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16974066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cannibalisticshadows/pseuds/cannibalisticshadows
Summary: Megamind is more alien than Metro City thinks.





	1. Tail

His tail is quite dexterous.

Long, blue, and kind of boney, she expected, at first, it to be a limp appendage only capable of minimum movement. At the most, it should help with balance. Megamind was quite graceful on his feet. This appendage, however, despite making a rare, rare appearance of live television, was always on full display during their more personal conversations (off-air).

“Today, Miss Ritchi, will be the day you lose your Mr. Goodie Two-Shoes!” He crowed from his spot by the control panel. A razor blade was whirling by her head, but after a few years of serial kidnapping, she knew he’d never hurt her like that. At least, it never came to that. Metro Man usually showed up at the “perfect moment”, or the “deadly weapons” hovered a few inches away from her being. The biggest injury she walked away with was a sprained ankle because her tied feet on the chair’s legs were unable to move out of the way when Metro Man’s dramatic entrance tipped her over. Since then her ankles have been tied together, not to the chair directly.

“Really? Well, at least I don’t have to worry about air-hair anymore,” she joked, wondering when this kidnapping would be over. She was supposed to meet up with someone about an interview later on that day.

Megamind didn’t respond to that, but when he whipped around to glare at her, he leaned back so far she thought he’d fall over.

But he didn’t. He caught himself smoothly on that long blue tail of his as if it was a kickstand. It was such a thin thing (about as wide as his spine, she supposed, thinning more at the tip) that she thought the weight of his big head would snap it in half. Yet this wasn’t the case. It made her think of the dexterousness of a monkey or an opossum tail.

He leaned on this tail of his with all the ease in the world, as if it was as casual as leaning against a wall. “Try to be more of a damsel in distress, Miss Ritchi. This is the day Met—!“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she sighed, “The day Metro _Mahn_ will be defeated.”

She’d never directly insulted him before. This was quite actually the first time she’s ever poked fun at his little pronunciation problem. It seemed to irk him, for he dropped down into his chair and came rolling over in one smooth push. When his large black chair stopped beside her, he—

Oh, God.

She gasped as she felt that inhuman appendage of his suddenly raise up, and— _curl around her neck_.

“Really,” he drawled as if his tail wasn’t wrapped around her neck like some bizarre blue, bony choker. “Do try to take this more seriously. I am a supervillain!”

She licked her suddenly dry lips and responded with, “I may take you more seriously now that you’ve got—quite the hold on me.”

His expression shifted to one of confusion. Then, she realized, he realized what he was doing. He opened his mouth but all that followed was a stuttering response, and he retracted from her so fast he really did almost trip over himself. His tail swished so hard his cape tangled with it, causing more of an embarrassed response.

She couldn’t find an atom in her to be disturbed by this.

If anything, she was endeared.


	2. Hands

Megamind was nothing if not skilled with his craft of choice. That goes to say he can use his hands very, very well. Perhaps it was due to having twelve fingers, instead of the standard ten.

At the beginning of their damsel/villain relationship, during her second kidnapping, things hadn’t actually started yet before she learned an important lesson. 

Not quite sure who it was that sprayed her with the knock-out stuff, Megamind or that gorilla fish he slaved away, they hadn’t given her enough. She’d woken up in the car, and pitched a fit so hard that it took Megamind and his minion, plus two of his weird looking bots to hold her down.

“Stop struggling!” The alien supervillain hissed when she managed to free her right arm for a moment to sock him across the jaw. She’d taken a self-defense lesson from her dad before heading to Metro City for her new job (she’d been too shocked and scared to do anything during the first kidnapping), so she was shocked when the blue male (was it safe to call him a man?) was barely affected, if not annoyed.

“Let me go!” She shouted, squirming violently in her chair as they bound her with several ropes. They hurt, digging into her exposed skin.

“Nail the chair down,” Megamind instructed his hench-fish, who clicked his tongue in response. “Now, Miss Ritchi, we can do this the hard way or the harder way. You were so good and quiet before!”

“Go to hell.”

He rolled his green eyes.

Roxanne wasn’t sure how old he was. He must have been a few years older than her—she’d already heard about his mayhem before she graduated college, but it hadn’t been long. It was hard to know, because his skin was so smooth, and that was so unfair. Not to mention this alien was so—alien. He wasn’t human. She wasn’t even sure if she should call him humanoid or not. He had a big blue head and a tail for crying out loud. That really shocked her to see the first time.

In the villain’s frustration, he threw his black-gloved hands up and let out a serious of inhuman noises. She continued to glare at him when—

She looked at one of his hands—

One, two, three, four, five—six?

She felt her brain run a short circuit because people had five fingers, including the thumb. Megamind, however, had–six fingers. Huh.

How hadn’t she noticed that before?

She hadn’t realized she’d said anything before he turned to her with an annoyed—(sad?) look. Why would he be sad? What had she said?

“Yes, I have extra fingers.” He waggled his hands, showing the middle finger, quite literally, on both hands between the standard four. “Mind your own beez-ness,” he snapped and turned away with a scowl.

“W—“ She stopped herself.

She watched the alien hunch over a long panel of wacky looking buttons and switches, levers and wheels. 

Though this was the second kidnapping from him, she learned then and there that perhaps supervillains have feelings, too.


	3. Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> In your "Loving The Alien" stuff, may you write about some aline eyes? maybe something reptilian like??

“Such tricks, won’t work, on me,” Megamind whispers in her ears as he slowly spins around her on his chair, breathing huskily against her skin. It was brief, though, and she wondered where on earth he had become so daring as to flirt with her. Sure, in their years of villain and damsel, he had tempted her, flirted with her, touched her so lightly she found herself shaking for more.

Not that she would admit to it. And, these moments were so rare they surprised her every time.

“Wait,” she gasped, wanting him to do that devilish act again. But she couldn’t let herself fall for that bad boy act. That was something she left behind in high school. But, even she had to admit Megamind could be incredibly… striking. Tail, extra fingers, the works.

By the speed of light, she pulled her horny self together and demanded, “What secrets? You’re so predictable!” She tried making it sound like she was referring to his main game—defeating Metro Man. Not the flirting. No siree. (In that he was definitely not predictable {not that she’d admit to it})

And then the denying—his snappy water pets, the weapons, the fire, the whole works. She’s seen it all by now, and if she wasn’t fond of the man already she’d be bored out of her mind.

“The spider’s new,” she says casually when the little creature comes down on a single threat. True, she hadn’t seen it before, and just to get under Megamind’s skin she blows it in his face when he gets close enough.

Honestly!

When Minion hits his boss/best friend hard enough to send the other alien back so hard she hears his head hit the floor, she isn’t as concerned as she would have been years ago. Megmind wasn’t Metro Man by any means, but he could be thrown, punched, held under water, and overall beaten up, unlike any normal man. He let out a strange alien squeal as his fishy friend basically beat the hell out of him to get the spider off. To be honest it was funny.

Megamind got up, finally, clutching the eye the spider landed on. She didn’t laugh this time, seeing the absolute miserable look on his face. She knew he tried so hard to be bad. But, truthfully, he couldn’t scare her any more than that first kidnapping.

“Give it up, M—Megamind?”

By now he lowered his hands and was listening to her, and scrunched his face up when she stopped talking to say his name in a questioning tone.

“What is it?”

“Y—Uh, Y—“ She—she knew he wasn’t human, but— “You’re eye?”

He gave her a curious look, oblivious.

After all these years, she knew what he looked like up close and personal. This, however, was new.

Megamind had green eyes. Bigger than the average Joe, and a shade of brilliant green unlike anyone ever had. But over all his eyes were human. Or so she thought.

Now, his right eye was—really green. Almost completely green. His eye was a swirl of black and this fantastic blend of green, like—like a reptile, almost, but his pupil was—not entirely round, almost a vertical oval.

“Wow,” she said because really!

“What!?” Megamind fussed. Minion, though, stood beside her now and gaped at his Sir.

“Sir! You’re contact lens!”

Megamind almost went a pale blue. He turned to the computers and looked at himself through the reflection. With a loud gasp, he grabbed ahold of his cape and covered his face, crouched down far enough she thought he’d try to crawl under the control panel. Muffled through his clothes, he shouted, “Minion! Plans are canceled! Take Miss Ritchi home!”

Before she could say she didn’t mind his actual eyes, the knock-out spray was in her face. And then, darkness.


	4. Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK GIVE MEGAMIND A LONG TONGUE

Things are quiet when Megamind’s not trying to upturn the media. Too quiet.

Typically Roxanne is able to take care of several personal appointments and errands when she’s not strapped to a chair or suspended over a pool of hungry alligators. Sometimes she even gets in a few hours of extra sleep, when she’s not required to cover the Metro Man/Megamind related topics down at the station. 

Today is one of those days where she can do anything she wants without the pressure of being caught in the middle of bad vs good. So currently Roxanne is basking in the mid-morning sun that pours through her bedroom window, bathing her in the soft light. She stretches against her pale pink sheets, yawning loudly. _Ahh, another lazy Sunday,_ she muses to herself.

Aaaand the peace is broken once she hears the loud, piercing sound of a vase being broken.

“Shit,” she mutters to herself, throwing herself out of bed and yanking her robe on haphazardly. No one else beside her or her parents had a key to her apartment, and the only ones able to break in would be the two biggest goofs on the planet.

When she marches out of her room to stand in the walkway overlooking the main floor of her apartment, the first thing she sees that annoys her is the broken vase that sat on her kitchen counter, once holding a bouquet of gorgeous red roses, now in bits in a watery puddle on the floor, the flowers and its petals strewn about. The next thing she sees is a rather culpable Megamind.

He’s standing as still as a statue—a position she’s unused to seeing from him. Normally the supervillain is so—Excited. Hyper. Revved up. With wide eyes he stares at his mess, an incident he evidently did not intend to make.

“Megamind.”

Instantly, the blue alien jolts with surprise, looking up like a puppy, wagging tail and all. If his tail moved any harder, she wondered if he’d knock more things over. Or sprain himself.

“It was an accident,” he insists, as she descends the stairs to give him a piece of her mind. Though his tail swishes around wildly, he hunches over as if to guard himself against her inevitable doom.

To be fair she didn’t really want to get mad at him. The last time she saw him was when he gazed down at her with two different types of eyes. Today he had both of his “contact lenses”, appearing as he usually did.

On that day, he’d looked so horrified at this secret of his being revealed. Now he looked like he was about to jump into a shark tank.

For whatever reason he might have had to come to her place on a weekend, and so soon after a fail attempted to defeat his arch-nemesis, it had to be unrelated to a kidnapping. And besides, Minion was the one who usually picked her up.

“Megamind,” she began, approaching him like one might approach a wild animal, “what are you doing here?”

“I—“ he clears his throat, eyes glancing left to right. Suddenly he pulls himself together, stops his wagging tail, and looks her in the eye with all the bravado of a true up-to-no-good villain. “I’m here to threaten you, Miss Ritchi! So! Prepare to be threatened!”

“Oh no,” she deadpanned, bending over to pick up some of the major pieces of the vase. “What in heavens shall I do?”

“Take this seriously,” he snapped, bending down beside her to take the roses.

“I am.”

“No, yo—“ Megamind groaned. “I’m serious. Don’t—“ she raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell anybody. What you saw.”

“What I saw?”

He frowns.

Ah, Roxanne thinks. The eye-thing. For the longest time, Roxanne was convinced that he and Metro Man actually had a lot in common. One of those things being a complete disregard for humility or modesty. Here, though, this scrawny, big-headed blue alien is looking at her like she could end his whole world if she blabbed about his little secret. “Megamind, I don’t care if you have alien eyes. You’re, well, an alien. I’m not surprised, so I don’t really mind. Heck, take off your contacts right now. See if I’m scared.”

He hissed at this. “But they would be.”

“Who?”

“Them! The world! The miserable, single-minded people on the mudball of a planet!”

Roxanne winced at his outburst as she placed the pieces of the vase in the sink. “Megamind…”

“No, no, I’m serious,” he repeated himself, “you cannot tell them anything about—about—“

She stood there, unsure of what to do.

“A-b—my—e–Gah!” He hissed so loudly he actually bent over, clutching how own head in his hands. As he hissed, his tongue actually slipped out of his mouth—

And slipped out further—

Okay, she thought with a hot flush, seeing his tongue extend several inches beyond the average human tongue could.

His tongue was as reddish-pinkish as the next man. His, however, was longer, pointer, and–seemed to be slicker, in a way. When his tongue stretched to its limit, she saw that at the base of his tongue was dotted in little prongs that reminded her of a cat’s tongue. How… curious. His tongue vanished back into his mouth before she could give it any more thought.

“Megamind, honey,” she said, surprising them both as she stepped closer to pull his clenched hands away from his head. “It’s okay. I never intended to report about that.”

“Really?” There was such hope in his eyes. Who was this man to be so boisterous one moment, and completely wallowed in his own self-vanity the next? Was it even safe to call it vanity? It was clear he considered this a matter of life or death if the populous knew he was more monster than man. But to her, he would never seem the monster.

“Really really.”

And she really, really meant it.


	5. Teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> I’ve had a thought - what if reptilian-like megamind’s tail wagged when he sees Roxanne lmfao- also does that boi have sharp teeth?

Like winter to spring, things in Roxanne’s life begin to change.

It’s funny, in a way, because never did she imagine that this would happen. They happen nevertheless, and Roxanne just takes it all in stride.

Lately, she’s waking up to the sound of a certain someone meddling about in her apartment. This is yet another bizarre thing she’s come to accept as the norm, like the kidnapping and the flying.

When she gets out of bed, slips her purple robe on, and comes downstairs, all she can do is smile helplessly.

“Roxanne,” Megamind greets, and his whip-like tail begins to wag so hard she thinks he might sprain himself. When Minion or the media isn’t hovering over them, and they’re tucked away in the safety and privacy of her home, he’s begun to—trust her, in some ways. He takes his contacts off, now. He looks at her with those wide, green alien eyes like he knows she won’t turn away out of disgust.

She even likes to look at him.

“Morning,” she says sleepily, shuffling into the kitchen while keeping a curious eye on him. At this point, it wasn’t unusual for him to show up at weird hours, like now (it was six thirty, and she had to be at the station in twenty minutes). However, he usually had a reason to show up unannounced. Not like he would announce himself anyway. 

After the first time he showed up, worried she’d tell everyone Megamind was more monster than man, he now comes around with minor things, like–”when’s the best time I can kidnap you?” “How long will your parents be in town?” “Can I borrow some sugar?”. Those kinds of things lead to talking. 

They talk a lot these days.

And suddenly he says, “It has come to my attention that our standing relationship can go no further.”

She almost drops her mug as she gapes at him. “What?”

“I said, it has come to my at—“

“No, I heard you. What do you mean?”

Megamind sits on a stool at her breakfast bar. “I mean, I won’t be kidnapping you anymore.”

Roxanne wasn’t—wasn’t sure how to process that.

She had been the third wheel for so long in his and Wayne’s game that it became—natural, to fall into it. She knew both of the supers inside and out. Knew their quirks, knew their fighting styles. Eventually, all she saw as a hindrance was the knock-out gas, the cheesy villain quotes, the impossible hairdo she got once Metro Man whisked her away (she specifically got her hair cut short because really, have you tried to brush out long hair after flying?).

And—and now—

“You can’t just stop that,” she cried, slamming a pan onto the counter so hard Megamind’s whole body jolted. His tail stopped wagging. “No. You can’t just up and decide for everyone how and when you play the game. This isn’t just about you!”

With wide eyes, he stares at her for a while before questioning, “I thought you hated getting kidnapped?”

“I—I do. You know what? I do hate it!”

“Then—“ he swallowed. “Then why are you upset?”

“Me? Upset? Ha,” she laughed humorlessly and turns around, switching on the coffee pot and slapping a slice of bread into the toaster. “I’m not the one dictating everyone’s lives.”

Megamind hunched over the counter.

“I thought you’d be pleased?”

“Pleased!? She slams a cup down in front of him. He nearly falls off his stool. “Get out, then.”

“What?”

“Get out of my apartment, Megamind,” she says, suddenly so tired she couldn’t even bring herself to look at him.

He doesn’t move.

“Megamind, I said—“

“What,” he begins, speaking so softly she can barely catch his words, “what I meant, was—was maybe, you—and me—I—uh—c—g-“ his speech continues to go downhill.

“Megamind, just forget it and leave, please. I can’t look at you right now.”

This poked a major sore.

She instantly felt the shift in him. Saw it in the way he hunched over even more as if to guard his thin body against her prying eyes. She saw it in the way his whole expression crumbles. He shuts his eyes and turns his head away.

“Megamind,” she says his name again, closing her own eyes and massaging her temples. “Not like that.”

He says nothing and gets up. “I—“ he still stutters. “I meant, we could—could see one another. On occasion. Maybe—to eat? Or—Nevermind”

“What?”

“Please lock your balcony door more often. Someone bad might be tempted to break in.”

“Wait, what!?”

But he’s already going to the balcony, already reaching for his hoverbike—

Finally, she understands what this stupid scrawny alien was trying to say. Sighing because, really, she shouldn’t be listening to something as serious as a change in “relationship” this early in the morning, and because both of them were a special form of idiots who danced around something that had been brewing for seven years.

She grabs him before he can go, and spins him around so fast he barely processes it when she gives him a kiss.

And for heaven’s sake, she shouldn’t be kissing the bad guy. Really, really, really shouldn’t be letting him touch her in a manner such as this, with his surprised yet willing hands on her hips. Shouldn’t be hugging the guy who breaks into her apartment at a quarter till seven in the morning. Shouldn’t be close enough to feel him tremble with uncertainty.

He pulls away from the brief embrace, staring at her with the utmost shock. “I—I thought you were mad? Forgive me if I’m slow to misread things but y—“

“No, I’m sorry,” she says honestly. “I freaked out before you could explain yourself.”

“Hm.”

“Y—“ she pauses. Somethings off, and it isn’t him. She scrunches up her face and brings her fingers to her mouth because there’s something—

“Oh gosh!” He shouts suddenly, and before she can grab whatever is sitting on her tongue get does, his face flushing lilac. “I’m so sorry!”

“What is that?” She asked, looking at a small, white cap of sorts between his pointer finger and thumb.

“It’s—uh, Roxanne, you know I’m not human?”

“Obviously.”

“I—“ he sighs and opens his mouth to her.

That thing was indeed a cap, and covered—one of his canines, apparently. Because—there’s a very pointy looking tooth on his bottom teeth. Not just pointy but slightly jagged.

“Sorry,” he says, stepping away. “I’m not—a vampire or anything. I was born with them. And they kind of grow back? If I lose a tooth? I don’t even eat meat all that often. It’s for breaking into hard things. Like nuts. Or fruit. The fruit on my home planet was encased in very resistant outer sh—“

She’s shaking her head, smiling from ear to ear. “Come on, then,” she chuckles, sliding up to him before he can say anything. “Open up.”

He gives her a weird look but does it anyway, if not tentatively.

And she plucks not three more, but seven small caps off his teeth to reveal eight little jagged fangs. He blushes so hard she hopes he doesn’t pass out. She just sighs and puts her forehead against his. “Megamind, by now you should know I don’t mind.”

“Really?”

“You know I don't,” she says, and kisses his cheek.

His tail doesn’t stop wagging until she leaves for the day.


	6. Diet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major shout out to electronicpencil and Phishbon3s!!! You guys have given me some great things to think about and work with :3 
> 
> Also, electronicpencil, expect more chapters focused on some of your delightful theories very, very soon.

It’s been two weeks since their first kiss. Six hours since their last one.

Megamind left this afternoon with a kiss to her cheek, which led to her kissing his nose, with led to them sharing a rather lengthy mouth-to-mouth.

They’re not—dating. She doesn’t think so, at least. He comes over at odd hours, still. They tend to sit close now, and talk about—stuff.

They still talk a lot.

It just now involves some touching, with a few smooches thrown in.

The thing is that now they’re finally getting around to do to that “eating together” he suggested. She called it a dinner date. He calls that a “social eating courtship ritual”.

But—are they dating? Roxanne didn’t know shit. First thing first though, was that she refused to be involved with someone who liked to go around causing mass chaos. For the past twenty years, that’s all Megamind seemed to do.

Yet he hasn’t made a public appearance in a while.

She hasn’t been kidnapped in weeks.

And the last time she saw Wayne, he complained about having nothing to do anymore.

Hell, people are starting to wonder if Megamind blew himself up while inventing something.

Roxanne is starting to feel guiltily happy that she may be the only one who knows he’s become— _sweet_.

“Hey Megamind?” She had asked him that day, her head on his lap as he lightly brushed her hair with his long six fingers. She’d come home early, today. Paid leave, her boss said, when she was so distracted that morning that she’s dropped a steaming cup of coffee on his lap when he was trying to explain something. She didn’t remember what he was saying before the yell. All she was thinking was—damn, Megamind had smooth, smooth skin. Something she both adored and envied. How on earth did he pull it off? Was it another quirk to his alien biology? Would she ever get around to asking? Was—was it even ok to ask?

She wasn’t his girlfriend or anything. Right?

“Hmm?” Megamind responded, sounding dreamy.

“Do you want to have dinner together?”

He went still.

Immediately she thought, _shit, I shouldn’t have said that he’ll completely freak or just get up and leave—_

“Okay.”

“What?”

“I said okay.” His tone of voice—raised, and he bent over her to smile down at her. She couldn’t help but smile back. “I would very much enjoy participating in a social eating courtship ritual with you.”

She snorted to hard she nearly rolled off of him and the couch. “Social eating courtship ritual?”

“Yes,” he said, his brows pinching together. “That’s what it is. What meal do you which to share?”

“Um—dinner?” She's already said that.

He pursed his lips. “That sounds perfect.”

Something in her said he wasn’t completely on board, despite the suddenly desperate look on his face that told her he was going to do something silly to try and impress her.

She asked if they could eat here. (Not like there were a plethora of other options—if he walks anywhere public people run—and besides, she had a VERY strong suspicion that Minion didn’t know about this thing between them) He said that’s perfect, but he insists on bringing something, once she said she'd cook for them. This is how she learns he’s deathly allergic to milk, or milk products, and has a hard time digesting non-organic foods (he says pesticides just don’t “agree” with him”)

“What about meat? Like chicken?” She remembers what he said about not eating it too often, despite his pointy pearly whites.

“It’s fine. I just eat fish more often.”

Her eyes nearly popped out of her skull.

_**“What!?”** _

“What?”

“You—but, Minion’s a f—“

“A sentient being. With bigger teeth than me.” He had the gall to look amused.

She stared at him for a moment.

It—made sense, in a frightening way. Minion was a fish, with—very very sharp teeth. Sharper than Megamind’s.

“He eats fish, too, Roxanne.” He smirked, showing her all eight jagged teeth. At that moment she thought of a shark. He would certainly, in a permeative way, have the ability to rip apart a fish with hard scales.

And—if Minion and he were from the same planet, both of them very sentient—where they—related in some sense? It hurt her head to think about it.

“Oh-kay. Okay. I’ll make salmon, then?”

“Sounds perfect,” he smiled.

He kissed her chastely. She kissed him chastely.

They both kissed each other like lovers.

And then he left on his hoverbike, and she sat there thinking what recipe should she use.

She calls her mom for advice and makes a near-fool out of herself as she tries to convince her it’s not because of a guy.


	7. Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said:  
> Wait.. if reptile!megamind is really similar to a lizard, would that mean he does rather lizard-like things, like perhaps being able to scale walls, or shedding skin (pretty sure you need scales for that but still) if that was the case - what would Roxanne’s reaction be?
> 
> Also, because pencil wanted molt scarecrows :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good gd two updates in one day? i'm on FIRE

Amongst the vast abilities Megamind’s brain has, Roxanne knows he has an incredible sense of time.

And, in the panic of her busy kitchen, he arrives at the exact time they agreed on.

“Why can’t you just show up five minutes late like a normal person!?” She shouts as she runs to open the oven, to which she’s greeted with a hot stream of air. Hot mitts in hand, she pulls a pan of seasoned baked asparagus out, sizzling on the tin foil in bubbling olive oil and spices.

Megamind, stepping inside of her apartment after parking his hoverbike and setting something on her coffee table, started to pull his coat and gloves off. He’s already taking his arm-length gloves and contacts off when she yells at him, and freezes in mid-moment as he’s unbuckling his left glove. “Do you want me to go and come back later?”

“No, no,” she sighs, exasperated with herself. “I just started cooking a bit late. I wanted it hot when you got here.”

He wanders into the kitchen, visibly sniffing the air. She guesses he’s pleased with what she’s made, as he smiles and licks his lips. “Well, it smells good.”

“Doesn’t mean it’ll taste good,” she says because while she’s baked asparagus before, this recipe for salmon was new.

Speaking of the salmon (before Megamind said he and Minion enjoyed eating fish, she thought eating it would be an offense), it was sizzling on the cast iron pan atop the stove.

It was still cooking in the sauce—a honey garlic thing she whipped together after a lengthy talk to her mom. It had a wondrous golden-brown color with the paprika and soy sauce she added and was already caramelized with the honey.

“Is it done?”

“Now it is,” she brushed the asparagus into a large glass plate with a wooden scraper, watching the oil drizzle over the greens.

“Can I help?”

“Uh—sure. Can you take the fish off the eye?”

He gives a little warble of affirmation, and she hears the skillet being lifted off the stove. She turns around to ask him to put the fish on the other serving plate when—

“MEGAMIND!” She shouts, seeing him picking up the pan with his bare hands.

“What?!” He shouts back, quite aback with her outburst. Carefully he places the pan on the counter before coming to her. “Are you hurt?!”

“You—“ He stares back. “You—your hand!” She grabs his wrist and stares at him, expecting him to cry out in pain or see a massive burn on him.

But he’s—fine. Completely fine. She spreads his hand open, briefly tracing his long fingers as she desperately looks for any mark what so ever. And there's nothing. The only indication that he’d picked something up that would have scorched the skin off her was the heat radiating off his palm.

“I’m okay,” he chuckled nervously. “It’s—“

“An alien thing?”

“Yes.”

“Huh. Well. Warn me next time. You scared the hell out of me.”

~.~.~.~

He’s wearing all black tonight. No cape, giving her full view of his tail, but he’s still wearing the spiked shoulder guard, with the impossibly tall collar.

He’s also very—antsy. He fidgets. He squirms in his seat. He digs his fingers into his collar to claw at his neck. He scratches his wrists under his long sleeves.

Overall the dinner would have gone nicely. He expresses much positive feedback with her cooking, and after the meal (he says very little, surprisingly) he shows her the pie he made.

Yes. You heard that right. Apparently, Megamind liked to cook and bake, when the desire arose.

He says the pie is non-dairy (obviously), and it’s a strange fruity custard thing that she would have guessed she’d dislike, except because it was made by Megamind, and he looked so eager for her to try it, she did, and was shocked to find it superb. It wasn’t too sweet, or too tart, and it washed their dinner down without overpowering her taste buds. She’d even surprised herself by helping herself to seconds when he said he’d avoided using sugar and used date honey instead.

“Megamind,” she says, settling her fork down as she swallowed the last bite of her dessert down. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean? I’m fantastic!” He pulls his hand away, having been called out on all his itching.

“You okay? I avoided the stuff you said you couldn’t eat.”

“No, it’s not allergies,” he waves her off. “Just itchy.”

“Oh. Do you want some Benadryl cream?”

“That won’t help,” he said, sounding miserable. “I’m sorry, Roxanne, I’m just—not a great night for me. Physically. I may be sick, even! Yeah, you know what—maybe I should go. I don’t want you to get sick and miss your job or—“

“Megamind,” she said knowingly, scooting over to him. “By this point, I can smell your lies from a mile away. What’s wrong? Are we—uh--going too fast?”

His brow knits together, but he still can’t stop scratching his left side. “We are stagnate—there is nothing going on that is by far “fast”, Miss Ritchi!”

“Sure, sure,” she rolls her eyes. “But I’m getting itchy just by looking at you. Is it a rash?” On your whole body?

“I—it’s really not a good time for me, tonight. I’m sorry. I didn’t—want to say no when you asked so I tried to help prevent it.”

“Prevent what?”

He sighs and twiddles his thumbs before he apparently decides to tell her—or in this case, show her.

“I’m warning you,” he says, giving her a serious look. “It’s gross.”

She can’t really come up with a good answer, but she puts her wine glass on the coffee table as he reaches up to his neck to undo his collar. He pulls it off and sets it in his lap—

“Good god, Megamind,” she gasps, reaching for him. His whole neck—it’s—red, almost. It looks like a rash but it’s not exactly localized. Bits of his skin has quite literally peeled off, leaving tender looking red splotches here and there.

“I’m revolting. I’m sorry. I tried to be good for you.”

“Oh, honey, this is—what is this?”

“Molt.”

“What?”

“Skin. I shed my skin, Roxanne.”

She’s silent for a moment.

“Like a lizard?”

He has enough ego in him to get offended. “I am not a reptile!”

“Okay, okay, calm down Mr. Supervillain. Just asking. If this bothers you why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I hoped I could wait it out until I got back to the Lair.”

“Would a shower help?”

“It does, actually, but like I said I’ll wait.”

“You can use mine.”

“I appreciate the offer but—no. It is extraordinarily difficult to remove wet molt from a drain. Your plumbing would be backed up for days.”

She puts her hand on his arm. “Does it hurt?”

“No, it’s just very taxing. It passes after a week. I’m sorry. It’s just started.”

“Stop saying sorry! You can’t help it, sweetheart. But how often does this happen?”

“About six or seven times a year.”

“Oooh. Wow,” she comments, brushing off pieces of flaky blue skin off his shoulder.

“I’m not a snake,” he murmurs, looking down at his lap like he thought himself a complete failure. “I don’t emerge from a whole body skin. It justs kinda--comes off. The biggest piece of molt I ever shed was as long as my arm.”

“I never said you were a snake,” Roxanne shakes her head. “But it clearly bothers you. Is there anything I can do? If you can’t wait, feel more than free to take my shower. I really don’t mind.”

“Thanks, but—“ He pauses.

“But what?”

“Minion usually takes it.”

“Your... skin?”

“Yes. We’ve been making scarecrows to hide around the city to scare people off. We also set up cameras to see their reaction. It’s ridiculous amounts of fun!”

“Megamind,” she laughed, seeing him smirk sheepishly back.


	8. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For electronicpencil and the anons who wanted a more reptilian Megamind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader descretion is advised

Megamind stayed for ten more minutes that night, after showing her his flaky neck. He says it only gets worse, since it just begun, and unless she wanted his flakes flying everywhere he should leave. So, despite his original resentment of her lips on any part of him, she gives him a peck on his nose and tells him to drive home safely.

She doesn’t hear from him for the next six days.

And it’s—concerning. She's so used to seeing his face now, in her own home, that when she returns to work after her short leave all she can think about is if he’s okay (honestly, she shouldn’t worry, he said molting was perfectly normal and it will continue to happen until he dies).

Still, though, she’s a little worried. She had no way of getting in contact with him.

“Hey, Roxa-roo,” her red-haired cameraman says, once her report from outside of the Metro Man museum is over (talking about Megamind’s absence—she knows the truth but this is basically a report on nothing). “I was thinkin’, since old Megs is like, probably dead, you wanna come over for some pizza to celebrate? My treat!”

Roxanne resists the strong urge to tell him off. Megamind’s death would in no way be a celebration. “No thanks, Hal, I’ve got dinner plans.”

“Oh,” he said, shoulders slumping. “Maybe next time?”

“Maybe.” For all that he was, Hal was a good cameraman, but his boyfriend material was far, _far_ from what she found desirable.

“Okay. See you later, Roxie!”

She hated that name.

\-------------------

She lied when she said she had dinner plans. If anything, she may eat a cup of noodles, but she ends up taking a walk in the park. It’s so late that everyone has gone home, leaving the trails void of any soul. The summer night felt lovely against her skin, prompting her to remove her jacket, leaving her in her ruffled blue dress. Eventually, she sits on a bench, enjoying the sound of the wind in the trees, and the absence of any person around.

Or so she thought.

“Nice night?”

She jolts and spins around in her seat, her blue eyes landing on the one sight she wanted most to see.

“Megamind!” She exclaims, her face lighting up in delight as he approached her.

He’s wearing jeans, of all things. Rugged dark wash jeans that _hug his hips so unfairly_ and combat boots, with a dark blue top and a sleak leather jacket with the collar turned up. His tail swishes around as she runs up to him, so overjoyed to see him she literally jumps him, sending them both to the ground.

He grips her lower back as they land in the grass, laughing as she squeals his name again. “You’re back!”

“I never left,” he chuckles, arching his neck as she places sloppy, desperate kisses along his jaw. “I was just being gross and taking a lot of showers.”

“You couldn’t be gross to me if you bathed in the garbage. Wait. Actually, I take that back. I do enjoy nice smells. I have standards.”

He laughs heartily at that, rolling her over until she’s pinned beneath him. She can see his tail behind him, raised up as his weight presses her into the ground. “Then tell me now, Miss Ritchi. Do I smell?”

She pressed her nose to his neck. He shivers at her touch. “You smell amazing.” And he did. Like something she’d find at a pricey perfume store for a million bucks, but it was so light she found herself chasing the scent because it filled her with such pleasure. There was also something she knew was just plain him, like autumn wind and dark chocolate and fresh leather. Overall he smelled really good, and not to mention _his skin felt fucking greeeeeat_. She hadn’t realized it until now that the days leading up to his “shedding”, his skin had felt dryer than usual.

“I missed you,” she found herself saying. He tilted his head, smiling softly. “Hey, Megamind?”

“Hmm?” He let out a little purr, moving off of her so they could both sit up.

“Are you… still a villain?”

He sat for a quiet minute, staring at the shaking leaves of the tree they found themselves under.

“I don’t really know anymore.”

“How come?”

“I… Roxanne, I’ve been bad my whole life,” he flopped down on his back, staring at the sky. “The only thing I’m good at is trying to beat Mr. Perfect Hair.”

“You and I both know that’s basically impossible, but that’s beside the point. Megamind, you’re brilliant. You have so much to offer the world besides trying to blow stuff up.”

“Or kidnap you?”

She rolled her eyes, but playfully. “Or kidnap me. Seriously, sweetheart, from the start I knew you weren’t all that bad.”

“Because I suck that much?”

“No,” she said sharply. “You never really tried to hurt me. In all these years it became obvious you were never evil.”

“Tell that to the rest of the world.”

“You’d be surprised.” Roxanne lays down beside him, placing a hand on his chest. “My parents live out in the boonies. Country land.”

“I know. They own a farm.”

Of course he’d know. “The point is, is that they were so proud of me when I went to college and started my path to being a news reporter. Not the place I imagined myself being as a kid, but I was happy and they were happy with my decision.” She put her head on his chest. To her mild surprise, his heart is much louder than a human’s, and at least twice as fast. “My mom barely passed high school. My dad dropped out before senior year. He inherited the farm from my granddad because his mom wanted nothing to do with it. They’re simple people. Quiet, even. And they were so overjoyed that I’d finished my education. But you wanna know something?”

She can see he doesn’t understand where she’s going with this, but he’s paying close attention.

“When you kidnapped me the first time both of them came up here in the old pick up truck and nearly demanded me to come back home. They did this for the first five times. After that, they started to realize something.”

“What?” He asks it as if his life depends on it.

“Do you remember our fifth kidnapping?”

He purses his blue lips. “I remember each and everyone.”

“You could have let me fall off the cliff you had dangled me off of,” she said, leaning up again to meet his vibrant green eyes. “But you nearly risked your own life to save mine when the rope snapped unexpectedly.”

He doesn’t respond.

“They saw that. There are a lot of other people who saw that, too. You’ve done a lot of insane and illegal things, Megamind, but being evil isn’t one of them.”

He swallows.

“Now,” she leans in closer. “Are you going to lay here all night or kiss me, lover?”

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

She’s suddenly on her back again, this time with her wrists pinned above her head as he assaults her mouth with the most intense kiss they’ve shared yet. He tried to mold his mouth onto hers, their noses bumping against each other. She moans and arches her back, feeling him wriggle against her until she parts her legs to allow him perches between her thighs.

With his heavier-than-expected weight, she can feel his slim figure move atop hers, grinding into her in the most pleasant way. She opens her mouth in another moan of encouragement, happy to feel his slick tongue touch her bottom lip.

“Megamind,” she exclaims, feeling him grind against her womanhood. He murmurs her name against her neck, making it sound like a plea to God Himself as he laved her skin, dragging his long tongue down to her collarbone.

For a brief moment, she feels—she feels something hard press against her through his jeans—

And then he’s gone—

Someone is shouting her name, and Megamind’s—

“Megamind!” She shouts, sitting up at the speed of light because he had been literally yanked off of her. He’s—dangling, in the air, by his tail.

Out of costume, Metro Man was just plain old Wayne Scott. Poster boy for perfection and all that was righteous. Right now, the buff man was in jeans as well but wore a plain white dress shirt and a gray jacket. His face, though, wore absolute fury.

“This is what you’ve been doing!?” He demands, voice booming. “Molesting Roxie!?”

“Put me down!” Megamind roars, flailing all his limbs, face turning a light shade of purple as seemingly all the blood in his body rushed to his head.

“Stop it!” She shouts, wanting to grab Wayne by the ears and tell him off because Megamind was doing nothing wrong what so ever. She can barely watch it because never has he tried to carry Megamind by the tail and never has she seen him strong enough to hold himself upside down by it. Carry things, sometimes, but he wasn’t a monkey.

“Jesus, and to think I was actually worried about you,” Wayne seethes, and actually—he yanks Megamind by swinging him—and—

_Good God what the fuck is he doing to him—_

She can’t hear herself shouting Megamind’s name, but she feels her voice rip through her throat because suddenly she’s throwing herself to the ground beside him as he falls to the floor in a loud thump, and something wet and warm splattering a part of her face.

Wayne lands beside them with all the grace in the world, dropping—dropping—droppung it to the ground in a dead heap—

She has zero idea of what to do. This was never done before. Wayne always roughed his nemesis up a bit before bringing him to jail. Never—never really hurting him—

 _“Megamind,”_ she sobs, helping his shaking form to lean upon his hands and knees, clutching him to her chest. “Oh, Megamind—“

His beautiful, perfect tail is lying on the ground just a foot away, blood pooling at the base of it. Never before had she seen it so limp. Now—now it wasn’t even apart of—

 _“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”_ She shouts at the superhero as loud as possible.

“Um—“ Now, Wayne looks confused. Megamind says nothing, but clutches onto her with his face in her chest, still quaking with tremors of clear agony. His feet kick at the ground.

_“HE WAS DOING NOTHING WRONG!”_

Now the hero goes pale, and his eyes dart from Megamind to her, to the tail, to—

“W-what?”

“You idiot!” She cries, holding onto Megamind tighter. In her horror and wrath, she has enough brain cells in her to tell her to put pressure on the wound. “He wasn’t molesting me! I wanted it!”

“You—what?!”

Megamind, still shaking, turns his head to face his life-long enemy. “Still can’t resist pulling it off, can you?”

Not really understanding what he meant by this, she just holds onto him and shouts, “Take us home, right now, or I will scream so loud even your ears will burst!”

Wayne, still confused and stuttering manages to pull himself together and pick both of them up. She grabs onto Megamind’s tail and holds it close, knowing it should be put into ice or something until they can reattach it. They can reattach it, right? It’s possible to do that will plenty of detached limbs—

They get to her apartment through the balcony, and she rushes inside and puts Megamind on the sofa. He’s—he’s unconscious, and his blood has seeped into her outfit and it’s on her hands and—

“What did you mean, you wanted it to happen?” Wayne’s asking her, standing in the middle of the room looking dumbfounded. “He was—asulting you!” 

“It’s called making out, you ass!” She shouts, grabbing the vase Megamind replaced the previous one with and throws it at him. He’s unaffected. “And he’s good! He’s fine! He’s not hurting anybody anymore!” She throws a book at his head. “You tore his fucking tail off what the fucking fuck is wrong with you!?”

“Roxanne—“ he pauses as she throws a chair at him. “Roxanne, he’s gonna be okay. This has happened before.”

“W—“ She lowers the dictionary in her hands. “What do you mean?”

“It grows back,” he said, looking mildly weirded out. “Like a lizard.”

 _I’m not a lizard_ , Megamind’s voice echoes in her head.

She throws the dictionary at him anyway.

“Get _out_ of my apartment, Wayne.”

He leaves.

And now she’s alone with a tailless, unconscious Megamind, and she’s got no earthly idea what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy look a cliffhanger
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [send me prompts here](https://cannibalisticshadows.tumblr.com/ask)


	9. Muscle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An anon asked me for "athletic build/strength", and I had no idea what it was for because I had no specific reference telling me it was for this story or not. If it isn't, sorry hon (if you're even reading this), but next time let me know if it's a prompt for LTA or for something else :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *raises binoculars* ooh look a shirtless Megamind ahead.

Roxanne stood there, frozen with fear and no idea of what to do. She watched as Wayne zoomed off into the distance, and vanished as he took a turn around her building.

When she could finally feel so much as her own lips, she turned around to stare at her— _boyfriend_? 

Looking at his face pressed against her red couch cushions, dead to the world, did she finally spring into action. Immediately Roxanne bolted to her bathroom to grab—she grabbed a lot of things. Peroxide. A washcloth. Bandages. A warm bowl of water. Her entire first aid kit.

She threw it down onto the floor as she dropped to her knees beside Megamind, staring at his blood-stained jeans. There was a small “tail sleeve” of sorts, she supposed, with a zipper. Imagining him pulling his pants on while zipping the back up for fluid movement for his tail was easy.

Now, this sleeve had nothing in it, a clear void of what it was designed for. With shaking fingers she unzipped the back, exposing the area.

Roxanne expected to find maybe a hole in his skin, or bone, or—What she found was actually a bud, the very base of his tail. The glossy red flesh in this base was formed to a six-pointed star. Strange.

When she reached for a damp cloth, Megamind suddenly jolted in his spot before she could so much as touch him. He hissed as the water droplets touched the wound. 

“Megamind,” She yelped, “honey, it’s okay, it’s just me now.”

His eyes darted around the room before they landed on her. “Roxanne. You--Where’s your _hero?_ ” He spat.

“Gone.”

He sighed and attempted to sit up. Instantly he cringed and stood up instead. She opened her mouth to protest because—fuck why is he even trying to stand he just lost his tail—she wasn’t done with him. Megamind sways, for a moment, but regains his balance as he rubs his temples.

He has stopped bleeding, she supposed, watching the alien stagger over to her kitchen. On the counter lay his discarded tail. He grunts and picks it up.

It twitches.

“Roxanne, it’s okay,” he says tiredly as she stares at the limb as if it was a dead baby, leaning on the counter. She tentatively hovers behind him. “This isn’t the first time.”

“He… may have mentioned that.”

He sighed. “How much did he tell you?”

“That it grows back.”

This makes him snort. Abruptly, making her jump, he clasps his hands together and swings his lost limb around before slapping it back on the counter. This too has long since stopped bleeding, and as she gets closer to him and his tail, she can see a similar symmetric structure where it detached. 

“That it does, I’m afraid. As would the rest of me. My tail, however, is a favorite of his.”

She feels herself go pale. Well, paler than she already was.

He notices this and gingerly touches her hip. “You look like you’ve seen a corpse, my dear.”

“I thought it would kill you.”

Megamind looks down. “It would take a whole lot more to kill me.”

She didn’t even want to imagine it.

“Really, though, you should sit,” he encouraged, and numbly she found herself being led by him to the couch. 

“You’re in pain,” she notes, because he doesn’t sit beside her, only stands close enough for him to barely touch her. 

“I’m fine,” he says briskly, reaching for the cloth she was going to use. “I was caught off guard. I usually don’t faint.”

“Usually.”

He kneels before her. "Though I hate Mr. Goodie-Two-Shoes within an inch of my life, to be fair he didn't know what would happen the first time. We were only children."

"Children?!"

He tilts his head, realizing whatever was going on in his head. "Ahh. That's right. You don't know. We met as very small children. In a tiny, one-room school. As babies, too, but I know he doesn't remember that." He soaks the cloth in the water bowl. "As children, he decided to "punish" me for my badness by picking me up by the tail. To say in the least we and the rest of the class freaked out."

"Good God, Megamind."

When he reaches to wipe her forehead with the cloth, she moves away before he can. “What are you doing!? You’re the one who—“

“I admit it hurts but the worst thing right now is the phantom pain.” He manages to dab her face despite her squirming to try to help him. “It will grow back soon.”

“How soon?” She sobbed.

“A week.”

“A week?”

“Yes.”

“Promise?”

“I’m not exactly leaving any time soon.”

“Good,” she breathed, reaching for him. She grabs him by the arms and yanks him to her chest, holding him so tight she wonders if she’ll snap him in half. His body arches until he is partially curled around her, hugging her back just so. 

In the midst of all the chaos tonight, they manage to find peace at this moment, simply holding each other and feeling the rapid heartbeat of the other until they both calm down.

Roxanne demands he take a bath, a shower, something, to wipe away the blood and prevent infection. He laughs, saying he can’t really get sick like that, but she won’t take no for an answer. Finally, he agrees, but she has a feeling he would have put up more of a fight if he wasn’t in the pain he was in.

“He didn’t really rip it off,” he makes a comment to her when he comes out of her bathroom, half an hour later. 

Roxanne looks up, still shaking, from her steaming cup of green tea. She’s about to hand him a cup and resend with: _“He more or least swung you around until it came off?”_ , but her jaw drops with the sign before her.

He’s wearing nothing but the towel she gave him. He’s completely bare from the waist up. And—and despite her addled mind, she appreciates the sight.

He’s oddly—muscled, in areas, despite the inhuman slimness of him. Two pert blue nipples, faintly well-defined pecs, a normal belly button, but it was a few centimeters longer than hers. A light dusting of black, neat hairs trail below his navel. Good god, he looks good.

He also has a tattoo on his right shoulder, but from where she is she can’t really see what it is. 

Numbly, she hands him an oversized t-shirt and a pair of sleeping shorts with a drawstring waist. He takes them with his free hand, nodding.

“What do you mean, he didn’t rip it?”

“It’s a… defensive mechanism.”

She thinks of a lizard but refuses to say it because for some reason it offends him.

“My instincts,” he says, behind her, and getting dressed. She holds herself from turning to watch, especially when she hears the towel hit the floor. “My instincts are very fickle. If, let us say, I am trapped, by some part of my body being held down, and I have somewhat of fear for my life, my body will… Well, let me show you.” Fully dressed, with the shirt hanging off his left shoulder, Megamind comes beside her. He reaches out his arm. “Hit me.”

“What?!”

“Just—hit my arm. As hard as possible.”

_“Megamind, you just lost a limb and I am not hitting you.”_

He rolls his eyes and reaches for her hand. Before she can protest he pressed the tips of her fingers into the inside of his forearm. Then he curls her hand into a fist, and hits himself with her.

His skin, upon the gentle touch, was soft and supple. But when she hit him, his flesh—firmed up. Somehow. She gasped and pulled away.

“I have instant reflexes,” he explained, taking the second tea meant for him. “When something comes at me intending harm, my muscles firm up, like a sort of armor.”

“How… how does this relate to your tail? If that’s completely true then you would still have it.”

“Let me explain, nosy reporter,” he chuckles softly. “If a part of my body is stuck, and I have no way of escape… My body reacts immediately to help me get away from the danger.”

“It…”

“My body will ‘drop’ the limb, Roxanne.”

She felt her mouth go dry.

He picks up the tail (it’s been sitting on her coffee table now, wrapped up inside of a large ziplock bag like a curled up whip [he says he will burn it because he doesn’t want anyone doing experiments to it]). He shows her the star-shaped muscles. She noticed earlier at the base. “The muscles literally pinch themselves off.”

“That does sound useful, but also terrifying. Does this—can it happen anywhere on you?”

“Frankly it’s never happened to my neck or head, and I’m not exactly eager to try that. Besides—I lost my waist once when I was sixteen while trying to make a jetpack and it was hell trying to grow everywhere down there back.”

She spits out her tea.

“Now,” he starts, setting his now empty mug on the counter. “It’s very late. You should sleep.”

She puts the mugs in the sink. It would be good to get out of her bloodied dress. But when she watched him go to the couch, she immediately grabs him by the elbow. “You’re coming up with me. I want to keep an eye on that bud.”

“Roxanne,” he laughs. “I’m fine. It’s not going to bleed—it’s already healed over. See?” He turns and lowers his pants enough to show it, and yes, it has healed over, and it twitches a little as if he was trying to wag his non-existing tail. Her heart sobs again. She shakes her head and pulls him along. “I want you in my bed.”

His face flushes.

“Not like that… yet. At least. Just—please. I’ve missed you like hell this week and now that I have you back you’re hurt. Please stay with me.”

He’s silent for a moment, but then he nods. “Okay.”

“Good. I—“ She gasps as suddenly he lifts her up, swiftly, as if she weighed nothing. Her mind flashed to a groom caring his new bride over the threshold, and as he grinned at her, she finally accepted that he would be okay. They would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [still lookin' for prompts~](https://cannibalisticshadows.tumblr.com/ask)


	10. Nightly Admissions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said: Can I please get some sleepy/snuggly Megamind for Loving the Alien?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a nice Shabbat to think things over :D. Hopefully, ya'll aren't too disappointed with me for presenting a short chapter this late (wrote this the second the sun set for me), but--I think it's worth it.
> 
> Enjoy some fluff for the hell I temporarily dragged you through.

Roxanne awoke with start.

Heart beating wildly in her chest, breath caught in her throat, she gropes in the dark as the fleeting images of Megamind falling from Metro Man’s grasp, his body detaching itself from his tail, haunts her mind's eye.

She heaves and clutches at her heart. Frantically, she remembered the events that happened after that horrifying moment and throws her hand out beside her to feel for Megamind.

For a terrifying second, she feels nothing but cool sheets, and the sound of the blood rushing through her is all she can process. But, reaching out to her other side, her hand collides with a firm form of her bedfellow. 

Megamind grunts as she accidentally slaps him in the back. 

She sighs with relief and lays back down.

It’s not even three in the morning, she notes with a glance toward her red-glowing clock at her bedside. It’s dark, with the only light being the never sleeping city outside of her window, pouring through the split between her curtains. She turns her head and looks at Megamind, her blue eyes wide in the dim room. 

He lies on his front, with his head to the side as he more or less faces her. When she gently pulls back the covers to reveal his backside, he lets out a tiny, throaty growl.

She freezes until he stills. 

Then, she gently lowers his pants far enough to see his bud of a tail. Roxanne doesn’t have enough light to see, but she can tell that flesh as already grown over most of the torn skin, and the star-shaped muscles look… longer?

She pulls his pants back up, careful not to let the elastic pop him.

As she’s about to settle back down, he moves. Immediately she goes still and lets him move about, but she's pleasantly surprised as he wriggles around until he’s pressed up beside her.

“Rox… anne…” He murmurs and throws an arm across her waist. 

“Are you… awake?” She whispered as quietly as possible, turning onto her side. The sheets rustle. 

He lets out another little grunt, but lifts his head and squints at her. Even in the dark, she can see the intense greenest of his inhuman eyes. It takes her breath away. “You’re not very quiet. Checkin’ out my ass… Why up so late, treasure?”

“I’m—“ the term of endearment throws her off for a second. “I had a bad dream.”

He lets out a little warble of sorts and clutches her tighter to him. His nose ruffles through her tousled chestnut hair. His skin seems to burn against hers. _He’s so **warm**_.

Megamind’s not usually this touchy-feely, surprisingly enough. She usually asks for permission in a non-verbal way, with him following. He does kiss her by surprise, but last night was the first time they had really gone at each other so… passionately. 

When he buries his face into her neck, audibly breathing in her scent, she lets out a shaky sigh and tries to tell her he’s going to be fine. They're safe, it's okay, nothing is trying to snatch him out of her life when she's suddenly realized he's so apart of it.

"I love you so, so much," he slurs against her cheek. 

She goes still.

It was obvious they had to have some type of feeling for each other, if they were, in a way, boyfriend and girlfriend. Yet those terms seemed childish, despite Megamind's theatrics and "occasional" immaturity. 

And... with what has happened; the kissing, the touching, the meal they shared, the show of trust. She's--so fond of him now that she can't imagine a life without this ridiculous alien by her side. She had long since dismissed any weirdness she might feel with being in a relationship with a non-human. 

"I think I love you, too," she whispers into the night, feeling a tear prick at the corner of her eye.

He's quiet. At first, she thinks he's asleep or is processing what to do next, when-- 

His hand suddenly grasps her breast. “I know the password,” he giggles like a child, and for a moment she wonders if he’s lost his mind. Apparently, this is so, as he mumbles something in a language she can’t recognize and seems to drift back to sleep. He still clutches at her, and she finds that one of his legs has intertwined with hers. 

She curls against him and just smiles.


	11. Nether Regions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said: Gonna say, can we get a boner prompt for LTA?
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I was wondering when I'd get a prompt like this, tbh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, but--
> 
> HEY YOU BETTER READ THIS
> 
> THIS DOES SAY XENOPHILIA SO YA'LL BETTER BE OK WITH NON HUMAN GENITALS

When Roxanne woke up, this time to morning light shining into her bedroom, she found herself lying atop of Megamind. 

He was laying on his front again, with his face buried in a pillow and his limbs splayed out. Roxanne is on her back, oddly enough, and has gotten into a rather uncomfortable position in a crooked reclining position between his arm and his side.

Groaning, she sits up and goes to the restroom. After, having relieved herself and brushed her hair, teeth, and washed her face, she finds Megamind still out. 

“Megamind,” she whispers over him, but he doesn’t budge besides giving her a stubborn snort. She checks his stumpy “tail”; once she’s satisfied that he’s healing nicely (and bizarrely fast, too), she leaves the bedroom and grabs her home phone.

“What do you mean, you can’t come in today?” Her boss whines over the line. “Ratings have already dropped due to Megamind’s absence. The only real material we have right now is you and Metro Man! Besides, I gave you leave!”

“Roger, you and I both know I have a hell of amount of paid leave piled up to be taken in compensation for the dangers of my job. Not to mention vacation. I’m calling that in.”

“But why?”

“M—It’s health reasons. That’s all you need to know. Good bye.” She hangs up before he can go off again, but no one in their right mind would fire her, she thinks with guilty satisfaction. And God knew she deserved some time off. She needed to stay for Megamind.

With her business taken care of, she brews a cup of coffee and makes him one (she doesn’t know if he even drinks coffee, or how he likes it, but knowing he can’t drink milk she adds a little bit of sugar. 

“Hey, you up yet, sleepy head?” She asks with a cheery tone, pushing the door open with her backside as she slides in her room, expecting to see Megamind on the verge of wakefulness. Yet she’s unsurprised when she finds him in the same position as before. She sets the cups down on the side table and gives the alien a little shake. “Come on, wake up.”

“Nooo,” he whines, voice muffled by the pillow.

“I’ve got coffee,” she sing-songs, sitting on the side of the mattress. When he doesn’t respond she gives his head a light smack. He hisses at this, and finally does he roll over.

And—

And—

And—

Her mouth goes dry.

Roxanne is by no means an inexperienced virgin. She is well aware that men can naturally be erect in the morning. It’s simply nature. With Megamind, she has never quite imagined that. Well. That would be a big fat lie if she applied this to his anatomy. She has certainly wondered what this man has in his pants. Fantasized it, even. 

In his suits, it’s hard to tell if he’s even shaped like a human male at all. At this point, she wouldn’t be fazed to find a handful of tentacles down there. But she hadn't felt anything while they were cuddling last night.

So... to say in the least, this wasn’t what she was expecting.

The first thing she sees is the outlining of a V. Two—members, of sorts, standing at attention against his abdomen, gracing his navel. She can’t see everything through his thin sleep pants, but they are very much peeking out from the waistband. Dark red, glossy and pointed, with a rather plump middle. 

She swears she can see ridges on the sides of both.

Before she can start to run a deadline (oops, already doing that), he raises his head to send her a halfhearted glare. "My body requires rest to repair limbs. Let me sleep,” he whimpers.

"Uh--" Roxanne licks her lips. For certain she knows he is unaware of his little (not really little) problem (not singular, either), so she makes a point not to look down there. It's very difficult. "I made you coffee." She gestures to the mug. "And I called in sick today."

His sleep-raddled expression leaves. "What? Why?"

"So I can stay here with you, obviously."

"I don't need a nurse," he insists, sitting up. Clearly, he's feeling much better than last night, if he can sit up again. "Like I said, this isn't the first time. Do you want to know how many times I've lost a hand in an accident while inventing something? Or while playing too rough with my brain-bots?"

She tries not to imagine the picture he's painting for her. "I want to know your health status, but as for the past, I would rather not know right now. Last night really..."

"You were in shock," he comments, nodding. He suddenly scoots closer. "It's understandable. I will try not to have you witness something like that again."

She laughs humorlessly. "It wasn't your fault, sweetheart." 

Megamind shrugs a shoulder. "It still bothered you. I'm sorry."

"Apologize again and I just may rip off an arm myself," she rolls her eyes and stands up. Discreetly, she glances toward his groin and finds that his members have... gotten shorter. As if they had partially sheathed themselves from wherever they came. "Sleep more if you want. I'm gonna make some breakfast." He gives a happy little sigh and falls back on his front, already asleep again by the time she closes the door.

It's quiet in Roxanne's apartment until she hears someone banging on her door.

_Hard._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love me, love my hemipenis headcanon


	12. All Ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said: AHSHAAUGAFAF MEGAMINDS TAIL OAO - anyways - metro mans kinda a lil bitch for being so “creeped out” at megaminds alien biology when really he probably has his own alien problems too and thats the tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, readers!!
> 
> This one was a little harder to crank out than the other chapters. But. I think I did it. Mostly.
> 
> AND ALSO: if you have trypophobia be wary toward the end of this chapter. I won’t expand upon it or go into terrible detail, but it’s mentioned nonetheless.

Roxanne nearly drops a pan when she hears the banging on her door. It’s obvious whoever is knocking at not even six in the morning is here for a reason, and a major one at that. Huffing, she sets the pan on the stove and wipes her hands on her robe. With shuffling feet she goes to the door.

“Who’s th—“

“Miss Ritchi!” The robotic screech of Minion’s suit voice tore through the door with clear agitation. 

She blinked rapidly, because one, how on earth did Minion get up the flight of stairs, or the elevator, without causing mass panic, and two, why was he here? How did he know Megamind was here (assuming that’s the reason he’s here)? Without another thought she unlocked her door and found—she found not Minion, but also Wayne, standing in his superhero get-up with the most miserable look on his face.

“Can…I help you two?”

Minion, without saying another word, marched past her into her apartment with barely a second look. She opened her mouth to protest, but Wayne was following Minion’s lead by more or less forcing himself inside uninvited. 

“SIR!” Minion belows, spinning around in his suit’s bowl head as he searched for his friend. “SIR, I’M HERE!”

Roxanne pinched the bridge of her nose. She had no patience for nonsense this morning but it was clear Minion wasn’t here to kidnapping. Clearly. Megamind said so himself he was stopping that. But did Minion know? Did he know why his boss/friend was hiding here with her?

“What are you guys doing here?” She hissed at Wayne, pulling her robe tighter around her when his eyes drifted below his face (her sleep tank top wasn’t the most modest thing).

“When you said… uh… that the little guy was all right now, I kind of went searching for Minion.”

She stared at him.

“Turns out he was looking for him too!”

She sighs. Honestly, a very selfish part of her just wanted to spend a lazy day off work with none other than Megamind. However she knew that the one who knew Megamind best was not her, not in the slightest. So Roxanne motioned to Minion, and says, “He’s up in my room.”

Minion doesn’t so much as give her another second because he’s already storming up the stairs with his big mechanical gorilla feet. She winces, hearing the stairs creek in his wake.

“SIR,” Minion yells again and throws the door open before vanishing inside. If Minion wasn’t a literal (alien) fish, Roxanne would feel terrified of a man throwing himself into her bedroom like hell in a suit. But, this was Minion and had probably spent more time with her unconscious than anything.

She hears Megamind squawk in surprise, and then Minion is marching back out again with him thrown over his shoulder. Megamind kicks his limbs and shouts, “Damn you! Put me down!”

“This is so inappropriate, sir!” Minion cried. “In Miss Ritchi’s bed?! WHY didn’t you call me when you lost your tail again!?”

“PUT ME DOWN, MINION.”

They’re yelling, now, with Megamind climbing all over this friend’s impossibly large robotic suit and Minion trying to grab Megamind by the waist to keep him still. Megamind is clumsy, though, and she can tell the “phantom pain”, as he put it, is evident as he tries to regain his balance.

“Okay, stop! Both of you!” She yells. Both of them turn to her with wide eyes. “Minion, there’s nothing to worry about. Megamind’s just been resting here.”

“And that’s incredibly unethical!”

“Don’t be a prune, Minion,” Megamind grumbles, having been caught and forcefully squeezed into a bridal position. It would be almost comical, seeing him struggle in the big mechanical arms of his friend, but right now all she worried about was Megamind being “kidnapped” in a weird scene, or his tail stub to start bleeding from all the struggling. 

“What are you even DOING here!?” The fish asks, clearly in distress. Roxanne finally takes pity on him and sending a glance to Wayne, who looks just about ready to leave as quickly as possible, she walks over to Minion to insist he put Megamind down.

“Minion, it’s okay. We had… a date last night.”

The fish looked at her like she was the weirdest one in the room.

“A date,” he echoes.

“Not really,” Megamind whines. “Before anything happened, Mr. Elephant here showed up.”

“Look, little buddy…”

“Don’t even _start_ with me.”

“Mr. Scott informed me that he caught you two in a very inapt position,” Minion barked, to which Megamind blew air out of his cheeks, blushing lilac. “I’m taking you back home now, Sir. Enough playing.”

Both she and Megamind jolt. “For one, I’m not _playing_ , and you can’t tell me what to do,” the blue alien whined. “I’m quite…” he glances at her, a clear question in his eyes. She nodded. “I’m quite comfortable here!”

“Sir, this is completely—“

“Minion, this is SO not your place—“

“I’m sure Miss Ritchi has to go to her job, now! She’s much too busy for—“

“She’s taking a sick day!”

“Miss Ritchi doesn’t know how to care for you like I—“ 

“We ate together!”

This was not the response she’d expect from Megamind to quiet Minion. Yet it was everything that needed to be known, or at least understood, for the otherworldly fish. His jaw dropped open, a few bubbles exiting his mouth. She shared a glance with Wayne over the unfolding scene. 

And then the little fish grits his fangs. Roxanne knows without a doubt these two are going to be fighting, and it probably shouldn’t be anything she or Wayne should be privy to. So, she takes the more humanoid alien by the hand and leads him to the balcony. Once outside, she shuts the door behind her. Immediately the two inside start yelling. Oh, boy, she thought gloomy. Megamind hadn’t mentioned their new relationship status at all.

“So… you and him?”

“Yes. Is that a problem?”

“But, he’s… _Megamind_. I can’t really imagine him as the boyfriend type.”

“You’d be surprised.”

When she heard a chair being knocked over, she winced. So did Wayne, but he covers his head in his hands. 

“If your superhearing is that bothered, then you shouldn’t have come.”

He frowns. “Look… Roxie, I know it’s not really my business, but…” He winces again.

And Roxanne understands his pain. The physical pain, that is.

They’ve known each other for a while. Actually, a little longer than she’s known Megamind. After all he was the one to originally kidnap her because of her affiliation with Metro Man. 

It goes to say that she and Wayne are somewhat like friends. Sometimes he’s taken her out for coffee after a particularly grueling kidnapping, or they’ve gone out for sushi, a shared enjoyment (she tended to avoid fish-based things after years of knowing her two serial kidnappers [that is, apparently, until now]).

She’s seen his little hideout by the bay, under this old one-room schoolhouse. 

So, naturally, it wasn’t strange for them to pick up on the little things in the other. Quirks. Pet peeves. Hobbies. Tastes. Strange alien abilities she’d never guess.

Ooh yes. Wayne was so not off the hook for last night. No way. Not after what happened with Megamind. Especially so, since Wayne wasn’t one to talk. 

So, yes, Wayne, she thought to herself bitterly, you had no room to talk about Megamind’s _alienness_. He has his own little alien quirk, too.

“If you make one nasty comment, one, on our relationship I am throwing you over the balcony myself.”

“That’s not gonna—“

“I don’t care, and you better apologize to him.”

“It’s not—“

“You removed his tail.”

“It comes off on its own!”

“How is that any less wrong!?”

She hears something being turned over in her living room, and with a great strength, she holds herself from turning around to look inside. She did trust Megamind enough not to turn her home into a complete disaster. More or less. Yet before she can say anything she hears, in a loud insisting yell, _“Well maybe I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore!”_

And then Minion’s squeal of shock.

And then a long silence.

And then the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut.

She waits there for a whole second before the glass doors open. 

“Roxanne,” Megamind states. She turns around and swallows. 

He’s looking a little worse for wear. Clearly the signs of a passionate fight show on his face, with puffy purple cheeks and ears. He hangs his head and steps aside from the entrance way. “It’s just me, now.”

“Are you okay?” She asked awkwardly, tentatively touching his shoulder. He shrugs, giving her little information as to what just happened between them. She and Wayne follow him inside, watching him collapse on the sofa.

She quickly moves to sit beside him. He looks so tired, now. He pouts, with his brows scrunched together so hard she wonders if he’ll hurt his face. 

“Do you want breakfast?” She asks him, patting his head. 

“Sure,” he sighs, but pressed against her in a loose fetal position and closes his eyes. Not sparing a glance at Wayne, or even warning him for what she’s about to do, she tugs his sleep pants down an inch to expose his stump. He grunts but doesn’t move her.

It’s still the same dark pink color, not as glossy anymore but still puffy with the blood pumping through his slim body. She’s been keeping an eye on it this whole time, but even so, she wants to cry or cringe because this appendage she's so accustomed to seeing is literally _gone_. It’s just gone. Not forever, but it’s… gone.

Wayne looks away.

Good, she thinks bitterly. Let him see it. She gently pulls the elastic band back up, this time letting it pop his skin a little. It’s ineffective. 

When she leaves the couch in favor of making him something to eat (and for herself), she gives Wayne a look and crosses her arms. “You need to apologize to him. Big time. For all the times!”

He rubs the back of his neck. 

She picks up a spray can of olive oil and coats a pan, quietly placing it on the stove because as much a she felt like slamming it down, Megamind was already asleep on the couch.

“Things are changing, Wayne,” she sighs, pulling a carton of eggs and a variety of vegetables and other foodstuffs out of her fridge. “He’s already trying to accept that. You need to, too.”

He sits at her bar and is just… quiet. For a long time, as she’s already whipping eggs together in a bowl with chopped onions, spinach, pepper, tomatoes, and cheese, the apartment is eerily quiet for once, with the only sounds being her puttering around. 

With the omelet starting to fry on the pan, Wayne finally moves off the stool.

Out of the corner of her eye, still hovering over the stove with her spatula in hand, she watches him approach the other alien by crouching down beside him. 

“Hey… Blue…”

She briefly wondered where the naming of his color of skin came from and wondered if Megamind would see that as if a white person called an African “Black”. However, when Megamind opened one eye, face half pressed into her red cushions, he regarded this life-long enemy with just a suspicious glare. 

“Look. I’m sorry about last night. I may have overreacted….”

She’s two seconds from blowing up on “may have”, but Megamind beats her to it by saying, quite quietly, “One time too many. Five times I can count, including last night.”

“Those times happened as kids, man.”

“Tell that to the growing pains, jack hat.”

She knows he’s being literal, Roxanne thinks with a wince. 

Wayne smacks his lips and gives a glance to Roxanne. She glares and just vigorously nods her head.

“Look… I think half the reason we all really felt… threatened by you was your—“

“Yes, yes, my appearance,” Megamind hisses, sitting up now. His borrowed top slips off one of his slender blue shoulders, the one with a tattoo. “The tail. The extra fingers. The eyes. The teeth,” he bares them. “Not to mention the time I lost my tail or had my shoes stolen.”

_Why would stolen shoes be so bad?_

“You,” Megamind goes on, laying on the truth very, very thickly. “You were Mr. Perfect, all smiles and charm and charismatic heroism. Winning the other chee-ildren with a single look. Despite your freakish strength and powers, they all flocked to you, didn’t they? Oh, no, no one could hate Mr. Perfect. Not him! Not even if secretly all the other children had somewhat of a fear for an indestructible child, in which no-one could stop if he had so much as a temper tantrum!”

The room is so quiet that Roxanne thinks she can hear her own heartbeat. 

Wayne stands up. He hangs his head. “I’m sorry. I really am. But… would you believe me if I said I was jealous?”

Megamind doesn’t buy it for a second and leans over to rest his chin on his fists. “Oh? Was it my incredible genius that intimidated your tiny mind?”

“No. It was because your alien abilities weren’t as freakish as mine!”

Megamind stares at him. “How so?”

Wayne tries to search Roxanne’s eyes for somewhat of a backup. And though she is still furious at him, she does nod and encourages him silently. 

Wayne then brings his hand up to his head and runs his fingers through his graying hair, moving away a chunk of greased locks to expose the hundreds of tiny, little holes in his scalp.

Megamind says nothing, and sits very still. 

“They’re… ears. Like. I can hear basically everything in this city. It’s frustrating as heck! And not to mention ear wax. This sounds disgusting but most of the time my hair looks this good is because of the wax. It’s—ew. I know.”

“Is that all?” Megamind is massaging his temples now, but in no way does he appear to be grossed out. Or even that tased. 

“Um… not really. No. But. Look. I’m saying sorry. And I really mean it.”

He say nothing. He turns and his eyes meet with Roxanne, but for once she doesn’t know what to say to this. This is between them. It’s probably not even okay for her to be present for this conversation, but she does need to make him something to ea—OH SHIT, she’s forgotten the omelet. She throws herself over to the oven and flips it, cursing as it’s scorched on the bottom.

As for what happened next between the two aliens, she is not privy to, because when she turns around Wayne is leaving through the balcony. 

She scavenges the good parts of the omelet and fills a glass with organic orange juice. Walking over to him, she gives him a look over. He’s hunched over, still massaging his temples.

When she sits beside him does he finally look at her. 

“I’m on better terms with him,” he nods to the balcony, “than with my best friend.”

She brings a hand up to rub his back, balancing the plate on her lap. “Minion… is quite protective of you.”

“You’ve no idea. I fear I’ve kept this from him for too long for him to take it easy.”

“He’ll come around. You two are the closest friends I’ve ever known.”

He smiles ruefully at this.

She runs her hand down his back once more. He’s so slim she can feel the ridges of his spin. Is that normal? “Here. Eat something,” she offers the plate. 

He takes the plate but keeps it where their thighs are touching. “Eat with me.”

“Anything you need.”

“We need. You haven’t had anything to eat since last afternoon? If you hadn’t already had dinner. I saw your news report before coming to look for you.”

“Oh?” She chuckles. “And how did you find me?”

He turns purple. “I may… have a few brain bots around the city to alert me of your _wear-a-boots_.”

She shakes her head, but can’t find an atom in her to feel creeped out. As long as they were in this together, it felt like nothing could tear them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [NEED PROMPTS, HAHA](https://cannibalisticshadows.tumblr.com/ask)


	13. Purring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said: PLease can you make Megamind purr in Loving the Alien?
> 
> (there's some heavy petting in this chapter, FYI)
> 
> (and shoutout to pencil!! [hopefully, this makes up for last chap!])

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFFFLUFFFLUFFUFLFLUFFUFFUFLFUFUFUFHFHF *dies*

He’s purring.

Literally. Megamind’s purr isn’t quite _cat-like_ , but there’s no other word she can think of to describe the audible rumble in his chest, or throat, or whatever it’s coming from. She can feel it vibrate against the side of her bare arm and hip. He’s pressed against her in the middle of the bed, laying beside her as she sits up against a mountain of pillows with the lamplight on, illuminating the book in her lap as she reads aloud.

Megamind has told her that reading is a boring activity for him. 

Which she found immediately suspicious, because, what genius hated to read? “It’s not the goal of reading I dislike,” he told her earlier that day. “It’s the act itself. It’s over too quick. I process the words on the page so fast I already need to turn the page once it’s turned. Give me the thickest book you have and I’ll be done with it within the hour. Boring. This is why I prefer documentaries because I can’t rush through it.”

So, she decided to compromise by reading to him. 

It’s _very_ rewarding work. 

Besides the sounds reverberating from his lithe body, there’s the sound of a short tail thudding against the sheets. 

It’s been two days since the encounter with Minion, and the coming-to-terms between Megamind and Wayne. Since then Megamind has healed at an alarming rate. He did say it would take a week before he was back to normal, but actually seeing it happen before her eyes made her knees weak with awe.

It’s like a dog tail now. The star-shaped muscles and flesh have smoothed over to a mild-pink tip, elongated now as his bud has expanded into a near foot-long appendage. Now he really does remind her of a puppy.

She finds herself, in the middle of reading in a quiet, slightly sleepy tone, that she’s stroking the side of his bald head. Roxanne looks down at this blue alien, cuddled up beside her, and smirks helplessly. 

He’s burying his face into her side, rubbing his nose and mouth into her nightgown. They’ve been wearing nothing but sleepwear lately.

“What are you doing?” She laughs.

“I’m just,” he pulls away for a moment to speak, quickly replacing his face back into her side. “I’m just _really_ happy right now.”

“I can see that.” 

She turns the book over and turns a bit to better face him. He’s squirming against the sheets as if he’s trying to get comfortable, but all he’s actually doing is rubbing all over her in an oddly chase way. His back arches as he stretches like some hairless cat, purring so hard the bed itself seems to vibrate. His sock feet scratch against her bare, blue-painted toes. They flex in a way that she knows that whatever he has in his socks isn’t humanoid. At this point, she couldn’t be bothered to be weirded out. She’s just—really happy too. In a quieter way, but still very much elated. 

He turns over to look up at her, pupils thinning in the soft yellow light. There’s something wet in his eyes that makes her think he’s been crying, but—she can see the joy. 

“Don’t tell me you’re crying,” she pushes the book aside. 

“Sorry,” he says, but there’s not a lick of remorse in his voice. “I suppose it’s a psychological response to high levels of pleasure-causing hormones.”

“Pleasure-causing, huh?”

He doesn’t catch her innuendo, and but suddenly he bites down on her nightgown, worrying the fabric through his teeth. She’s afraid he’ll tear into it (this vintage nightgown was black silk and something she’d saved up for because, really, from all the kidnappings in the past she deserved something nice for once), but he lets go and only leaves a damp spot behind. Then he crawls up further in the bed, turning his body to face her. She can see the wagging of his blue tail.

“You’re gorgeous,” he says as if it’s the word of God Himself, and bends over to kiss her clavicle. 

And then his tongue drags along her skin, up to her neck and behind her ear. She gasps and drops the book to the floor, blankets moving out of the way as he attempts to mold himself against her, kissing and sucking and nipping the thin skin of her neck and upper chest. Oh, fuck, she thinks as all logical reasoning goes out the window. Megamind takes hold of a bit of her neck’s skin in his mouth, sucking so hard she knows he’ll leave marks. The tips of his sharp teeth scrape against her, making her arch her back with a loud moan.

“Megamind,” she whines, squirming because every nerve in her body is brought to aflame, drawing forth dampness in her most private area. She reaches down and briefly flicks her fingertips against her panty-clothed mound. It electrifies her.

His fingers brush against her breasts, and—

He’s pulling back, looking not smug, but so pleased and happy that she can’t help but suddenly laugh heartily because _she’s suddenly so happy as well it’s impossible to contain_.

Fuck. In the logical side of her mind, she wonders if it’s normal to suddenly feel as if she’s been smoking weed without actually doing drugs. But all she can do is grab onto him and pull him atop her, kissing him for all she’s worth. He responds, chirping in a very alien way and chasing her lips with a tilt of his head.

He groans as she attacks his neck, then, giving him the exact same treatment. She pulls a bit of his lovely blue skin between her more blunt teeth, gently biting into his skin, knowing he’s made of tougher stuff than she is. She’s right because as she bits harder there’s no blood or breaking of the skin, just his wordless encouragements. Roxanne pulls away, her mouth making a popping sound as she lets go of her hold. As his purrs stop for a moment to give her a curious look, she waits no longer to do that again. 

It’s very effective. And his neck must be very, very sensitive, because once she licks the skin between his neck and clavicle, he suddenly arches and yelps, shakes violently, and collapses atop of her panting, the purring stopping for a moment longer than before.

She blinks. 

“Did you just come?”

“I’m not familiar with that term,” he responds, sounding satisfied with himself.

“Um—“

He shakes his head, smiling again like he’s just been given the fucking Nobel Prize. “Nothing.” It seems to be so, as when she snakes her hands between them, she doesn’t feel any signs of semen. But when her curious hands try to go further—

“Ah,” he pulls his hips up, hovering over her on all fours, his top drooping enough for her to see his muscled torso, but not his— “Roxanne, know once and forever that I’m not—“

“Human. Yes. Are you getting déjà vu?”

His brows pinch together. The purring stops. “I’m **really** not human down there, Roxanne.”

“I know.”

He stares at her like she’s grown a second head. How is he so expressive?

She just shrugs and smiles coyly, curling onto her side. “Oh… I don’t know. You don’t happen to have a good set of hemipenes down there, do you?”

He chokes on his own tongue.

She chuckles and blushes like a school girl. “I may have had an eyeful two mornings ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me I was— _im-moo-dest?_ ”

“I didn’t mind it.”

A million things are happening in his head. She can see his eyes flicker from multiple points in the room—her shoulder, her hair, the lamp, the ceiling fan, the dresser. Flickering at the speed of light.

“Hey,” she says, cupping his cheek in her hand. Only then does he look back down at her, waiting for her judgment like a criminal at the stand. She reaches up and kisses his forehead. “I really didn’t mind.”

“Really…?”

She smacks him on the chest. “Ask me again and I’ll kick you out!” Without warning she attacks him. A tickle attack. 

And then they’re playing like children, tackling and chasing each other on the bed with loud squeals of delight.

She thinks she can get used to a life like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, IMPORTANT
> 
> More or less.
> 
> I've got a few idea for what's to happen next. (this story is actually becoming a full-fledged story, fuck)
> 
> >Hal shows up somehow and fucks. shit. uP.
> 
> >Roxanne's parents come over by surprise.
> 
> >Megamind makes up with Minion.
> 
> (Honestly I can do either one, but I can't decide. Let me know in the comments! :D
> 
> Or do ya'll want another prompt-fill with oddly specific alien-biology centric-ness like in the beginning? Or just have them come up in the middle of a plot-driven chapter?


	14. In The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HC fill for [verdigrispatina](https://verdigrispatina.tumblr.com/).

Roxanne wakes up before the sun is. 

Of course, her inner clock is screaming at her, _get up! Get up! Time for work!_ But as she turns over to smack the snooze button, the feeling of cool sheets disturbs her. And the clear lack of an alarm going off. Just, silence. 

She throws her top sheet off and looks around, blue eyes wide in the near pitch blackness. 

“Megamind?” She calls out, as she looks around for any sign or sound from her blue bedfellow. There is no light, not even from her clock this time. It’s off. Her bathroom door is open, and the little night light she keeps in there is off, too. When she reaches over to turn the lamp on, it does nothing. _Blackout_ , she concludes.

The young reporter pushes the covers down the bed as she swings her feet over the side. Her fuzzy white carpet tickles her feet, but she forgoes her slippers and just takes her robe. She takes her phone and turns the flashlight setting on, the little square screen turning white.

Shivering, because it’s cold and she misses her bed and her bedfellow, Roxanne leaves the room.

“Megamind?” She calls out, looking around with her little light, the stairs creaking as she goes down. Minion definitely did a number on them, she thinks woefully.

Calling his name out again as she reaches the main floor, she panics and thinks maybe he’s taken his things and left. His clothes, once stained in blood, were washed the night before and lain over her couch. They’re gone.

Megamind was an adult, she thinks to herself. He could decide for himself when he was better, therefore leaving this warm little routine of theirs. He didn't need coddling. Yet. Yet she felt the air get sucked from her chest at the realizing that he was gone. But before she can throw herself on the couch and bury her head in her hands, she hears a soft scrape from her little kitchen.

“Wh—“ She gasps.

Even with her little light, she can’t see much else. 

But she knows without a doubt someone’s in her apartment, with-

Fuck, she thinks, instantly on guard because as she waves her cellphone over the kitchen, a bright flash of two orbs, glowing back at her through the darkness. A part of her is telling her this thing is coming at her, and she—

“OW!” It, no, he, shouts, clutching his face because she has quite literally slapped him. “What was THAT for!?”

“Megamind!?” She exclaims, aiming the light on him. He’s dressed in his civvies, leather jacket hanging off one shoulder. 

“Who else?” The alien rubs at his cheek, blooming purple. She sucks in a breath, apologizing because certainly wouldn’t have done that had she known who it was. She'd thought he was gone!

But the real question is: “What the _hell_ are you doing creeping around in the dark!?”

“I was going to let you know in a _noot_ ,” he begins to explain. “ _If_ you even got up before I got back. Which I doubted.”

“W—“ She swallows, still shaken from the adrenaline rush. “Where were you going?”

“I was going to take care of some… business,” he says enigmatically. “Possibly pick up some donuts after.“

“And how would you do that?” She redirects the light of her cellphone, half amazed that his eyes seem to reflect the light. He turns his head and winces when he light directly shines at him, so she quickly lowers it.

“I can go invisible,” he laughs maliciously. She stares at him for several seconds. “Okay, okay, don’t look at me like that! I have a disguise watch. I can look like other people with it. But it’s at Evil Lair. So I was going to leave now by hailing a brain bot.“

“You—uh, were coming back?”

He gives her a weird little smile. “Of course. I believe you gave me extremely strict instructions to stay in bed.”

“Because of your tail,” she says, blushing, refusing to smile because one, he really did scare the crap out of her, and two, he had been in _actual pain_ when the Wayne Incident happened. But he really did seem more like his old self, now. No longer exhausted. She frowns, but her eyes are playful. “So you were going to leave me in the dark?”

“I did not cause that,” he quickly says. “I actually have no idea how it happened. It’s just this building. Lights were off when I got up, I swear!”

“Didn’t say you did it,” Roxanne laughs gingerly. “But okay. Please come back home as quickly as possible.”

She’s not sure where this came from. Home, she supposed, was the Lair for him. But—now with him staying with her these past days, it feels very natural to see his face in the wee hours of the morning. That felt like home.

His ears turn an interesting shade of purple. 

“Yes. Okay. Yes. I’ll—I’ll be back!” His short tail wags _hard_. "Very soon!"

“Please be careful.”

“I can survive out in the world for one night, my dear. Balance is still off but I’ll be okay.” He’s almost stuttering, but he’s smiling so hard she can’t think much of it.

“Mhmm.”

He steps closer, bending his head to touch her forehead with his own. “I’ll be back. I'll be careful.”

“Oh I trust you,” she admits, patting his chest. “It’s other things I’m worried about.”

“Pfft,” he shrugs his jacket on. “I've done worse. I’d ask you to come with me, but. I’m not sure about that. Like I said I’ll be getting back with a bot, but it’s not exactly a safe option for…”

“A human?”

He purses his lips, but it gives her the answer she’s fishing for. She smiles and shakes her head. “Glad I woke up then to see you out. By the way, what’s this?” She gestures to his eyes, and with another redirection of her light, they shine.

“Oh, that? Tapeta lucida,” he says absently in perfect pronunciation, already going for the balcony, Opening the doors, he steps out and whistles. “Don’t wait for me. Sleep, treasure.”

Before she can respond a blue-glowing bot, snapping its large bear-trap jaws, greets its master with a playful robotic bark. Megamind laughs and holds onto one of the pinches. 

“Wait!” She calls out, running up to him and throwing her arms around his neck. He squeaks as she surprises him with a big, sloppy kiss. “Take care of yourself! I love you!”

“W—!?“ But the bot’s already flying off, cutting off whatever he’s going to say. Then he’s gone.

And for the first time in days, Roxanne is alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. yeah, yeah, where's Minion or Hal or the future in-laws? In future chapters, that's where.
> 
> Building up for the upcoming plot. Roxanne needs to be vulnerable for... reasons.
> 
> I am a terrible person, and I apologize beforehand.


	15. Uh Oh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hal fucks shit up.
> 
> You asked for it, heathens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. 
> 
> I HAVENT POSTED SINCE LAST YEAR. WOOOOOO.
> 
> Hahah, bad joke. Sorry it took a while. Went to Jerusalem for the weekend and had a lot of stufff to do. This chapter was started in a cramped little room and finished in a bus on my phone.

The apartment feels different. 

It’s missing something that had become vital in the natural essence of the environment. Now it feels like some kind of void, a black hole. 

Well. Maybe not so dramatic, but as Roxanne sat on the couch, snapping her cell phone off, leaving her in the dark, all she could hear was the silence. 

Trusting him to return to her, she laid there and fell asleep before she could really realize she was still tired.

The next time she opens her eyes, though, it’s not to a bubbly blue face hovering over her. It’s to the midday light shining in her face through the balcony window.

Groaning, she sits up and tightens her robe. It’s cold, but the cable box under her TV is flashing, letting her know the power is back on. 

She calls out Megamind’s name but there’s no answer. Glancing back at the clock, she finds it’s nine in the morning. Quelling her suddenly worry about being late to work, she remembers she’s off “sick”, and she deserves a little time to herself. 

The thing is, that’s the last thing she wants at the moment. 

It is hard to ignore the silence of her home. Before, weeks ago, she relished it, especially after coming home to a long day at work (including being kidnapped). It gives her a few blissful moments of peace that she is unable to have outside, it seems. 

Yet the only thing she wants is to hear Megamind muddling about. Even when he was conked out, healing, it was _something_.

So, to stop the sucking silence around her, she turns the TV on to channel eight. James Phillips, an older reporter she’s talked to on a few occasions, is going on about some new bookstore opening. Maybe she should go… Would Megamind want to, as well? 

The young reporter tinkers about in her kitchen until she’s brewed a few cups of coffee and a made herself a bowl of cereal, because it’s one of the last few edible things she has left. It was unavoidable; she had to go out today for errands.

Roxanne cracks her neck, stretching and thinking. She should get a shower and ready herself for the day; days spent lounging around doing nothing but eating, talking, and sleeping had pasted. Time to return to the real world. 

Making up her mind, yet reluctant to leave incase Megamind leaves, she pulls out a slip of paper out to use once she’s ready to go to the grocery store.

Right as she’s preparing to go upstairs, there’s a knock on her door.

It’s not the loud pounding of a robotic gorilla paw, so she gives a skeptical glower as she goes to peak out the peep hole.

Standing at her doorway is none other than Hal, her cameraman. She frowns, unlocking the door and opening it.

“Hey!” The short ginger-haired man greets, grinning from ear-to-ear. “I heard you were sick and stuff!” 

“Yeah, I was ac—“ she doesn’t get a chance to finish talking, as he’s stepping closer as if to come inside. She opens her mouth to protest, because, if she’s sick he shouldn’t want to come inside.

“I’ve got you some medicine!” He announced, pushing past her through the apartment anyway, eyes hungrily eating up her home. 

“Hal, you sh—“

He slaps some bag on the table, some common over-the-counter cold medicine, accompanied by a little box of chocolates.They spill onto her marble counter, clacking as they go. She hovers a few feet away, midway to Hal in her kitchen and to the door.

“So, like, I was thinking,” he starts, waddling over on too-skinny legs in proportion to the rest of him. “We could go get that pizza or like, whatever.”

“Hal, that’s sweet b—“

“Awesome! Do you wanna go now—oh wait, you’re probably still sick, right? Haha, I know what that’s like! I had this like, toe fungus the other day and—“

“Hal, you need to lea—“

“What time do you want to go?”

She’s just about ready to pull her hair out. She did not want Hal to be here. She did not want to be having this damn conversation. She just wants to go out to the store and restock in goods so she can cuddle up with Megamind because some weird internal instinct says it’s a great fucking idea to forget the world a little longer.

“Hal,” she says forcefully, once he’s about a few inches away. “Look, you’re sweet, but I can’t go out with you.”

“Well, yeah, you’re sick right now but we can still plan ahead—“

“No,” she snaps, “I mean, never. Ever never. I’m seeing someone. It’s serious.” _I hope it’s serious._

His face falls. “Oh. Right. Metro Dude.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

Hal’s face scrunches up. “Wait. So. You have a regular guy?” A weird twinkle in his eyes makes her insides shiver. “Then forget him! Let’s go out!”

“No, Hal!” She’s shouting now. “I happen to love my boyfriend very much, so I’d appreciate it if you left! He’s coming back soon.”

“God, Roxie,” he frowns. “Don’t be such a harpy. I’m trying to be all nice and you’re like yelling at me and stuff!”

_Don’t you fucking dare turn this on me._

She’s about ready to demand he leave, to get off the building’s premises, but—but out of the corner of her eye, she sees—

Megamind. He’s finally, finally back, hovering over her balcony on what looks like some black and blue motorcycle but without wheels. There’s a large engine on the front, roaring like a car. She is careful not to stare, as Hal’s back as to him. And _Megamind isn’t wearing anything to hide his more alien-likeness._ His tail, looking at least an inch longer, wags to the side in caution. She shakes her head.

“Look, babe, all I’m trying to say is ditch this douche. Let’s hang out! I’m a great guy!”

“I’m sure,” _and I have three eyes,_ “but you need to leave—“ Megamind presses his face against the glasses, eyes wide like some puppy that’s been kicked outside after pissing on the rug. Her heart breaks. “You need to leave. Right now.”

Hal steps closer to her. He’s—not usually this assertive. He’s mostly a calm guy with a few flirtatious or slightly creepy comebacks. But—

She smells the sharp tangy scent of alcohol. And realizes he’s been drinking. He’s drunk. His eyes are dilated. Fuck. She glances to Megamind, and he’s still on the balcony, clearly confused and it hurts her to leave him there but they both know he’d rather die than have someone see his actual face. He staggers up to her and grabs her wrist. “Come on, Roxie, it’ll be—“

She pulls her hand out of his grasp. “No, Hal. I already said, I have a—“ He makes another go at her.

Roxanne miscalculates her steps and she’s—falling, falling on her back and Hal is right behind her, grunting as his weight collapses atop her her.

The balcony door flings open and before she knows it, Hal is being _yanked_ off her.

“How _dare_ you!” Megamind shouts, the pitifully honed expression he once had long gone from this feral look he had now. He bares his sharp teeth, wide green eyes ablaze with fury. “You **dare** force yourself upon a woman that doesn't want your advances!? 

With a loud scream, Hal is thrown against the wall, hands up in surrender. " _Please don't kill me!_ " 

"Oh, how lucky you are I left the villain busy-ness!" Megamind snarls. "I would have torn your intestines out to decorate a Christmas tree!"

"AHH!"

"And rip our your eyeballs so you can watch me tear your carcus apart!"

"NO PLEASE!"

Megamind opens his maw, _god he actually looks terrifying_ , and hisses like some dying big cat, tongue curling and all. Hal is finally let go, and he collapses on the floor in a violently shaking heap. On all fours he scampers to the door, stumbling to his feet and whing all the way as she leaves.

Roxanne, unable to move, sits there and stares at the empty doorway in shock. 

She she turns to Megamind, he's heaving, staring at the floor like it's takening every nerve in his body not to chase after the fucker. Finally, after what feels like a million years, he fades away from his vicious intent. When he looks at her, all thoughts of blood and gore seem to fall away. Instantly, she has her tender Megamind back, and he's scooping her up in his arms to tightly she can't properly breath.

"Oh, my dear!" He cries into her hair, clutching at her like she's the only thing in this world worth fighting for. She hugs tight, too, but not as shaken as he is, apparently. "I'm so sorry I left you alone!"

"M-"

"I'm never leaving your side again!" He picks her up bridal style.

“Megamind!” She laughs. “I’m okay!”

“He _touched_ you,” he seethed.

“I would have taken care of it,” she explains, cupping his worried face. “But I’m a klutz and I just tripped.”

He turns his head to bury his face in her left palm. He kisses her skin as if she was a queen. In his presence, she feels like one. “I should have intervened anyway.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” she kisses his cheeks, his nose, his goatee, his forehead, and finally, his lips. “You are perfect as you are. Granted you did overreact a bit, but you are fine.”

He snorts. “There is nothing _fine_ about me. I think your eyes need to be checked.”

“Have you looked in a mirror lately? Your sexy as hell, honey.”

“ _Have I?_ Have _you?_ I am hideous as far as humanity goes.”

She smacks him in the chest and struggles to get down. Once he sets her on her feet, she grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him lightly. “Let me shake some sense in you, Megamind. I find you very attractive. Even if you’re not human, you are more _human_ than half the population.” She leans closer to him. “I would not have fallen in love with you if you weren’t who you are in here.” She puts her hand over his rapidly beating heart. 

His eyes go glassy. “Roxanne...”

“I love you, Megamind. I have for a while. It just took me a while to realize it.”

“....Really?”

She gives him a real smile.

But as they embrace in a tight hug and kiss, they are unaware of the camera flash going off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it seems rushed, in sorry.


	16. Bare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said: can we see LTA!megamind naked??? Good ol' walking-in-on-them-naked kinda situation. give roxie an eyefull. yes. i need that please.
> 
> &
> 
> Anonymous said: What’s up with LTA!Megs feet???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooh weeeee two prompt fills in one! And goodness gracious, this is the LONGEST ya'll've had to wait for an update! I'm so sorry; if you haven't noticed I'm kinda going nuts on posting other works for the Megamind fandom, OWO. 
> 
> And I find it hilarious that every single prompt I've received on Tumblr for LTA is from Anons.
> 
> I'mma be floored if someone prompts me without being anonymous.

Megamind can be quite protective, she’s quick to learn.

After the Hal Incident, he’s hardly left her side. Literally. 

“I never should have left,” he said, as if he’d left her in the middle of a battle field with nothing to defend or guard herself with. “I’m so sorry I took so long. It’s all my fault.”

“ _Megamind,_ it’s okay! I’m fine,” she chuckles, glad he’d back but feeling a little cornered from his sudden overwhelming solicitousness.

Roxanne had been too busy trying to deal with Hal to get a good look at him, when he first landed at her balcony. He’s wearing his signature spandex, tall collar and cape with the spiked leather gloves. The works. Typical uniform, and what she’s used to seeing on him. Yet, after all their “nesting” it’s a little weird, or a blast from the past, to see him dressed as the super-villain again. When he runs his hands up her arms and shoulders, checking for any injury Hal might have put on her within the two minutes he was here, she’s ready to roll her eyes.

Yet what really catches her attention now, is that Megamind stinks. Stinks like tobacco smoke and something sticky. There’s dirt smeared on part of his face, a slight scrape on his jaw. His de-gun’s in his belt. 

She grabs his shoulders and holds him back, staring at him. 

“What happened?”

“What?”

“Megamind, you look like you got into a fight.”

He’s silent for a few seconds. Her eyes go as wide as saucers. 

“Megamind!”

“I did say I had to take care of some business,” he scratches the back of his head. “I don’t—Roxanne, I didn’t just blow stuff up as a villain. I have contacts.”

“Contacts,” she deadpans. 

“In the underworld.”

She continues to stare at him.

“I don’t wanna be the bad guy anymore,” he reassures Roxanne, bending his head to hers. “But I can’t just let my—contacts—think they can run wild with my sudden _ab-seens_. Even you must know this city was corrupted and vile before I took charge.”

Took charge, her mind echos numbly. Took charge of _what_. The underworld? She shivered. In her eyes, Megamind was a big softy hiding beneath spikes, leather, and explosives. It seemed his only goal in life was just to get under Wayne’s skin, on a public scale. Yet Megamind was saying that’s not the whole picture. Good God. What else did she not know about him? Honestly she thought the majority of the smarter criminals just left a life of crime when a super ~~human~~ took charge of the city. 

_But Wayne’s not the only super._

“Okay, um, that’s a lot to unpack. And we’re not going to get in that right now. I’m just glad your back in one piece.”

He exhales in what she thinks is relief.

“But I’m not sweeping it under the rug.”

“Sweep what under the _roog?”_.

“Did you at least get what you needed? That watch?”

“Yes,” he chirps, and shows his wrist, and the complex looking wrist watch on him. 

“Megamind,” she rubs her temples. He fidgets in front of her, shifting from foot to foot. “I need to uh, go out today. We need some groceries.”

The blue alien sniffs. “Makes sense.”

“Do you wanna come with me?”

He tilts his head. “To shop? For—food?”

“That and other things,” Roxanne tells him, padding into the kitchen. “Can that watch of yours really disguise you?”

“Yes!” He insists, and twists the face of the watch.

His whole body shimmers with blue light, crinkling with some electric sound. And then, Megamind is gone and is replaced with some man she’s unfamiliar with. He’s morphed into some man in a biker outfit, similar to what he wore the night his tail was removed but with leather pants instead of jeans. Black hair, sharp chiseled face, same vivid green eyes, though more human-like.

He flourished his arms out and spun around. “Do you like it?”

“I prefer your real face.”

He visibly deflated.

“Not that this isn’t incredible,” she’s quick to reassure him, hands going up in surrender. “Because it is incredible. It’s seems very—convenient.”

“It is!” He whines.

“Okay, sweetheart,” she shakes her head, coming back to him with a cup of water. Handing it to him, she twists the face of his watch like he did, until she’s starting back at the face she fell in love with. Pleased, she pats him on the chest affectionately. He raises an eyebrow at her, but guzzles down her offering in a few big gulps. “Why don’t you go pop in the shower? You stink.”

With faux offense, he gasps and says, “Miss Ritchi!”

“Go on you goof,” she smacks him on the butt, trying not to laugh. “Get clean.”

~.~.~

 

Roxanne has begun to notice Megamind likes to take long showers. It’s not a bad thing, but how long does he need, especially with no (long) hair? Try as she might, she can’t stop all the thoughts that drift into her mind. What was he doing in there? Standing under the water to simply enjoy it? Well, Roxanne took a shower not too long ago and was in there for a considerable amount of time, and about half an hour had already passed, so the hot water must have run out by now.

Unable to not be curious, and a little concerned as well, Roxanne mounts the stairs and comes to her bathroom door. The shower’s not running, and all she can hear is what sounds like him humming to a rock song. Smiling fondly, she opens the door a crack and sticks her head in thinking nothing of it.

”Hey, Mega—eep!”

Megamind’s stark naked.

She instantly knows because, one, she hasn’t had the privilege to see that much of his blue skin yet. His tail has grown phenomenally the past several days; she's quick to admit it's about a foot short of being full grown. It hangs limply as he goes about his business. Secondly, the only hair he has, besides what’s on his chin, is the happy trail on his abdomen. Said trail runs down to his bladder and groin. There’s nothing dangling between his legs; no scrotum or penis to speak of. But there are two little buds, alined beside each other in a V, similar to a penile sheath on a male dog. A slight pink bud peaks out of both. _So that’s what’s holding his equipment in._

And, she can see his… feet?

He’s standing before the mirror, bent over and applying some of her eyeliner. One knee's up against the sink cabinets, and one foot out to give himself some stability. And his toes—

_What toes?_

Megamind’s has exactly three… toe-like appendages, shaped into three large claws like a raptor’s. Between them is wide translucent webs. They flex against her fluffy white bathroom carpet, making the tattooed alien look quite out of place in her little, feminine bathroom. His tattoo, by the way, was an overly realistic-looking planet on his shoulder. She’s yet to ask him if it’s his home planet, but all signs point to yes. 

When he looks up, she sees his face break out into mild panic. The eyeliner smears on his cheekbone and he drops the stick into the sink as he jolts upward. His hands fly to his groin. “Roxanne!”

Yelping, she yanks her head out and shuts the door. “Sorry!”

Her face is burning on a million degrees of embarrassment, for both him and herself. She never intended to get an eyeful of him in his birthday suit so early into their romantic relationship, but guiltily her inner reporter is sated… while her inner lady is absolutely mortified of interrupting his private time. 

Still blushing like a bashful filly, Roxanne bolts back downstairs and decides to wait like a normal person. Or at least try to. Especially since she's well aware what he looks like naked, now. And currently in that state, in her bathroom. It shouldn't arouse her as much as it already does. 

She doesn’t have to wait long, as the bathroom door opens and shuts again. Megamind comes out of her bedroom, dressed in his spandex. Leaning over the railing, catching her eye, he barks, “You!” To make it worse, he wags a finger at her.

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking!”

He harrumphs, marching down the stairs with his arms crossed. “It’s unfair.”

Her brows pinch together. Not the response she was expecting. “Unfair?”

“You saw me,” he explained quietly, almost disappointed. “In fact, you’ve seen just about everything of me!”

“Um.”

He doesn’t expand on this, but grabs his boots from the bottom of the stairs. He plops himself down on the couch, still frowning. Roxanne purses her lips, thinking over what he’s said. Was he… jealous? That she’s seen him naked and he hasn’t?

Oh.

Well then.

Finding it more than a little silly, but also charmed and flattered, she rolls her eyes and gets her own shoes. Seeing it fit to change the subject, she asks, “Did you see Minion? When you went to the Lair?”

He doesn’t answer her right away. “I… did. We’re not on speaking terms,” Megamind states flatly.

“Oh, Megamind… I’m so sorry—do you want me to talk to him or—“

“No, no! No need for that, my dear. I appreciate the sentiment but this is between us. He just—nothing.”

“What?”

“Never mind,” he waves his hand in dismissal. 

“No, tell me,” Roxanne pleads softly, coming up to him with her hands coming to his shoulders. “He’s your friend.”

“He—he said why should I come there when I’ve clearly made myself at home with you.”

“He _what!?_ " Her temper flared to life. "Now that’s just uncalled for! He needs to understand you can make relationships that don’t involve him.”

One of his brows quirk up. “What do you mean?”

“The way I see it is he’s jealous.”

“Jealous?” He laughs like it’s absurd. “Of what?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you two have been close for a very long time with no outsiders to share the other with.” She crosses her arms. “You’ve found a friend in me and he’s having none of it.”

He hums. “I admit that sounds like a reasonable answer, but I’ve told you earlier. I have contacts. Sometimes I have to socialize, though rare as it is, and he has no problem with that. In fact, he sometimes encourages it! He encouraged me to befriend the other children in the brief time we were at _shool_. He just—“ he tilts his head, frowning in thought. “I think he’s afraid. For my sake. He says the bad guy doesn’t get the girl.”

She gasps. “What?” Briefly, she begins to conjure up dark thoughts, that perhaps it wasn’t Megamind complete decision to be the super villain he made himself to be. That maybe a little voice sat in the back of his head to encourage his ‘evilness’. But that couldn’t be; Minion was sweeter to her than Megamind, most of the time. Tables had turned as of late, but—the alien fish liked to offer her things to drink and always handled her carefully during her kidnappings.

Megamind shrugs, throwing his hands up. “I don’t know what’s his problem. I’m not a kid anymore; I should be able to make decisions on my own without the world telling me what I should be doing.”

Her heart skipped a beat at how mature and healthy that sounded. She actually wanted to tear up at how proud she was, and the feeling was very strong and sudden. “Of course…”

“Enough sadness. You need to smile after that horrible red-haired _mahn_ tried to defile your honor! Now, Miss Ritchi,” he twists the face of his watch and his image shimmers until she’s looking into a Megamind-like human face. “I believe we have a date in _shoop-ing_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M OUT OF PROMPTS OWO


	17. Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> crudnick prompted: how about LTA! Megamind seeing other colors in the wavelength spectrum? Maybe at school he was always getting the colors wrong because he kept seeing more of them until he built color filters into the contacts? Maybe when he sees Roxanne she is even more beautiful without the contacts in?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my phone. 
> 
> the serves has been shut down momentarily.
> 
> the wifi at my sem really sucks. like. it was fucking hell to get this out and I'm sorry.

Megamind is like a child, in the regard he can be easily entertained and amazed.

His “human” face is plastered to her car’s passenger window, looking out at the passing scenery as if it’s the greatest thing yet. One of his feet tap rhythmically to a song playing on her radio— _”Why, Miss Ritchi! You’ve been holding out on me! Why in evil heavens haven’t you told me about your lovely little CD collection here?”_ —and she thinks she can hear his tail wagging over the engine’s puttering; she’s not sure if his watch physically changed his whole figure, or if it’s a super advanced hologram. She’s tempted to reach over and touch his head. Would she feel the smooth bare skin she knows all to well, or that spiky mop of black she’s seeing now?

“What cha thinking about?”

He looks up in surprise, but answers her happily. “I don’t go out often without my contacts. I was too busy earlier today to really appreciate it.”

“Oh,” she hums thoughtfully. “Do your contacts dim your sight or something? Do they-do they hurt?”

“Oh no, they don’t hurt. Well. Sometimes I’ll get a headache but that’s not too often! But they do dim my sight, as you say. As that is half of their purpose.”

Blinking owlishly, she opens her mouth to ask him to explain, but Megamind bolts up and points out the turn for the supermarket. 

Normally Roxanne shops at small farmers’ markets for produce, and specific stores for certain things like household goods, clothes, shoes, bath or beauty products, ect. Due to her years as Metro City’s star reporter and the two city’s super’s favorite girl, she’s somewhat of a celebrity. Going somewhere that’s bound to have a lot of people tends to swamp her in demands for autographs or personal one-on-ones with her fans. However, since she’s low on a lot of stuff, and she doesn’t want to overwhelm Megamind (though he’s expressing a lot of nonverbal excitement about going out) with all of that. So she settles upon the local supermarket; local enough that not too many tourists should be there, but someone’s bound to notice her at least once.

She parks and unbuckles, but Megamind’s already throwing himself out of the car before she can pull to a complete stop. It feels like the one time she had to babysit for her cousin’s kid—he had been hyped up on sugar and couldn’t keep still for more than five seconds. But Megamind was grown and a few years her senior; but looking at his bubbly face, human or not, was contagious delight.

“I’ve never really come to a place like this before!” He says, pressing against her shoulder as they step inside. She’s listening to him, but smooths her hair back down at the gust of wind at the entrance. “Africa” by Toto is playing overhead. 

“Really? It’s pretty dull—“ she stops, as she sees his eyes go wide and eager, eating up his new surroundings like it was some gorgeous alien world unknown to man. It makes this trip suddenly a whole lot more amazing than it really was. Rolling her eyes fondly, she grabs a buggy and nudges his shoulder. “Come on space cowboy. If you behave I’ll get ice cream.”

He nearly has a fit of glee right there in the store.

~.~.~.~ 

Just as Roxanne expected, someone recognized her and begged to take a picture. Flashing her best TV smile, she agrees out of courtesy and poses with the two teenage girls who flagged her down. They ask her companion, aka her frequent kidnapper, to take the picture. He finds all of this funny, she thinks, seeing the cheekiness flashing in his eyes. But he’s all the gentlemen, if not a bit awkward with human interaction outside of his inner circle, and snaps a couple of pictures of her with the girls in the cereal aisle using one of their flip phones, decorated in pink hearts and glitter. His black leather gloves squeak over the little buttons. 

What really gets Megamind laughing is when one of the girls says, “You must be really glad Megamind’s stop bothering you.”

“Yeah,” the second girl says. “You must have lots of time for Metro Man now!”

“Oh sure,” Roxanne says, kind of sarcastic but it goes over the teenagers’ heads. “I can go shopping with a peace of mind I won’t be swept off my feet at any given moment.” Megamind nudges her shoulder at that. If people weren’t around, she was sure he’d pick her up just to tease her. 

“Metro Man’s so dreamy…”

“Pfft,” went the first girl to her friend. “Metro Man can’t build the world’s most advanced A.I.s”

“Yeah but Megamind’s evil,” the second one whined. She turned to Roxanne. “He’s always trying to kill you!”

This makes the first girl sigh. She’s wearing darker clothings, a big contract to her friend, who’s dressed in bright colors. Roxanne blinks, and smiles, seeing that both of them have a different preferences. Maybe they weren’t even friends. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t say he tried to kill me,” she meets Megamind’s amused gaze over the punk girl’s head. “He could be quite the gentleman when he wanted to.”

“He was a gentleman!” Megamind pipes up, surprising the two girls who’d forgotten he was even there. To them, of course, he was just some guy accompanying her. For all she knew they thought he was her bodyguard. He was a little intimidating in his human form—not that he was any less intimidating in his true form. But he was at least human-like now. “Megamind is many things besides a genius.”

“He’s the only alien we know of living on earth!” Remarks the goth teenager with excitement, making her preppy friend (Roxanne thinks they may be sisters now; their personalities are too different to be friends by choice [yes, they must be related, their noses and hands are the same]) stick her tongue out. “That alone should have him exempt from jail! We should learn from him!”

“He’s a bad person!” Her sister insists. “Bad people go to jail!”

The sisters go into a fight, forgetting Roxanne or her friend was even there. She laughs, and nods her head down the aisle to leave. Megamind skips along beside her.

~.~.~

Half an hour later and Roxanne has gotten most things by now. Fruits, vegetables, eggs, soy milk, fish, snacks (most of which Megamind begged for with big, puppy dog eyes), hair products (for her, obviously), body wash (Megamind, though reassuring her her body wash was nice, said he’d like something somewhat masculine [he still smells like her lavender soap, to her delight]), and some sleep wear that should fit him.

They haven’t really said it in words, but they seem to settle into an agreement that he’s still living with her—for however long, neither knew. His tail, though not fully grown, was perfectly healed, albeit shorter and weaker than what it’s suppose to be. 

But Roxanne was more than content to let him live with her forever. Which is probably why she also picks up a black coffee mug that says _Bad To The Bone_. He fawned over it. She’s never really fallen into a commitment like this with any of her past boyfriends before, but—this thing between them felt too natural to be bothersome. Almost.

“Why are there so many beauty products for woman?” He asks, once they pass the body products and merge into the makeup stuff. She wanted to grab some eyeliner, because it wasn’t just her using it anymore.

“Well, there are lots of skin types out there,” she answers, picking up her favored brand. “Different shades, different sensitivity levels, allergies to certain things. And not to mention the companies out there.”

“Yes, but,” he gestures to the two long rows of shelves surrounding them, exasperated. “This is like shouting that women need to cover their faces up and otherwise feel hideous without it. It seems wrong.”

“You can say that again!” Someone shouts from the next aisle. 

Agreeing, though silently, Roxanne tries to cool his budding agitation with a pat to his shoulder. Plenty of woman-things cost more than what it should, and it was wrong, and sexist in her eyes, but that wasn’t a conversation she’s about to jump in with Megamind in the middle of a supermarket. “I wear makeup on camera all the time.”

“And it covers up your freckles,” he whines.

She’d always hated her freckles, actually, and covered them up purposefully, but at his comment it sounded like she’s done a personal insult to him.

“Okay, well, I haven’t exactly needed to wear any this week,” she comforts him, leading him further down the aisle. He chirps in affirmation. She stops by the rainbow-y array of nail polishes. Megamind’s eyes glance over them, but he looks away quickly. 

He continues to make some grumpy comments, much to her slight surprise. He could pull of eyeliner very easily, he’s wearing some now under his disguise, but he shows open disapproval of makeup. “I understand the concept, I do. A primitive courtship ritual to make one more appealing that’s been completely raped into an idea that woman are brainwashed into thinking they need.”

She rears her head back. O-kay. “Megamind, I don’t think all woman… think that. Or are they ‘brainwashed’. It’s just makeup.”

He grumbles but doesn’t answer.

Sighing, and not really understanding where he’s coming from, picks up a purple gloss that sparkles in the right light. Megamind slides up behind her and peaks over her shoulder. He grimaces.

“What?” She whips her head around.

“That color—it’s a bad color for you.”

“What?” She laughs, confused. She’s worn a dress not too different a few months ago, and he seems to— _like_ it. Though they were still “professional” then, and she 

“Do this one,” he says eagerly, and points out another purple color, but it’s not that far apart. Just slightly darker. She expresses as much.

This makes him freeze, and he dips his head in confusion. And then panic, as if realizing something. He steps away, nervously fluttering his hands in the air. “Nevermind. Pick the one you liked.”

“Megamind,” she says as quietly as she can, putting the nail polish down and facing him. First the makeup, now polish.“What’s wrong? Seriously, you’re starting to worry me.”

“Nothing! I just don’t know what I’m saying.”

“No, no, you definitely do,” she insists, refusing the drop the topic. “Tell me what your problem is.”

He whines, acting nothing like the tough biker his watch made him seem. “I just—not here,” he glances around, and sure enough, another woman comes down the aisle doing her own thing.

Roxanne doesn’t want to let this go. She forgets any interest in the nail polish and drags him away, darting to the restrooms. She leaves the buggy by the wall and pulls him into the family restroom, once she’s sure no one’s around to see them. Locking the door behind her, she turns to him with a scowl. She twists the face of his watch until she’s looking at his true face. His tail is limp. “Okay. What’s up?”

He shrinks into his collar. “M-My eyes are different.”

She knew that, obviously. He was _mortified_ when his contact fell out weeks ago. Though it led to their… bonding, he was still uncomfortable about the topic. Yet just a few hours ago with Hal, he wasn’t wearing contacts, or his teeth caps, and had no problem threatening the most horrid things to the man.

“Explain.”

“I failed most of the time in my short stay at _shoo—_ school. I couldn’t—see it right. The colors.”

She’s silent.

“When the teacher asked us what this color was, the others said red. When she shows another color, they say blue. So on and so forth! Orange, purple, green, yellow, brown, black, white, gray. But I saw some colors that were—different, but had the same name? When she shows me a color, I said it was a different color, and I’m marked with an F because it’s red. But it wasn’t the same color the other children called red!” He whines. “I can’t—I mean—I have more color receptors in my eyes. You humans have three.”

“How many do you have?” She asks numbly.

“Nine.”

“Good God! That’s three times more!” It’s impossible to imagine a single color she hasn’t seen, but—more than one? Geez…

“Not as much as the mantis shrimp, but—it’s bad enough as it is. Minion is colorblind. So he makes all of my clothes and stuff because—last time it was left to me I was told I looked like a _cloon_. So I wore what I was given. And what you call “black” is just—“ he gestures to his outfit. “Layers to me. Very fascinating. I think I can tell the different between what you call black and white. But I just flunked in the colors at school.”

“Oh Megamind,” she breaths, and wraps her arms around him. “Is that why you always wear black? Because you can recognize it?”

“Partially. My contacts are especially designed to help me see only three of the primary colors like humans. It’s very… dull. I don’t think I can give you the same ability to see more colors, not without serious surgery. I—I don’t think I really realized one of them fell out. I thought the _spee-ider_ bite just hurt me.” 

“Oh honey… is that why you’re so bothered by the makeup? It looks weird?”

“It’s like—face paint.”

“Baby…”

“I think you’re more beautiful without it,” he says, looking almost ashamed of this. “All of your freckles,” he points to her cheeks and nose with his pinkies. “Like little rainbow stars. Don’t cover them up. Please? Um, is that weird for me to ask?”

“Megamind, no, of course it’s not weird!” She pulls back from her hug and looks him in the face. She cups his cheeks. “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

“Because it annoyed the teacher,” he said. “And it frustrated Warden. Most of my uncles let it slide—Uncle Angelo actually made me a sweater once out of yarn that I thought really matched my skin, but every one said it was hideous—basically it made everyone else uncomfortable!”

Sometimes she really wants to cry for him. The world was just unbelievably unfair to him, and it really made him out to be the black sheep among the entire human race. It made her want to ask why was he on earth and not with his own kind, but—this was another seemingly small topic, but huge for him. One thing at a time. 

“Okay. Look at me. That’s better.” She leans her forehead against his. “We’re gonna go back out there and I want you to pick a polish for me.”

There’s an interested spark in his eyes. “Yes?”

“Hell, if you like one pick it out for yourself too.” It’s an amusing yet endearing thought to think of him wearing nail polish, especially something that wasn’t black. “And then we’re gonna get that ice cream, maybe a movie or two, and then we’ll blow this joint and get back home.”

His eyes go wide. “You wanna blow this place up?! Miss Ritchi, there are people there!”

She rolls her eyes, but leans over to give him a long, wet kiss. 

She really did love him.


	18. Nails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said:
> 
> LTA Prompt: I think it'd be really cute if Megs paints Roxanne's nails! Can it be a blue color, like her dress at the end of the movie?

She giggles when his pinkie finger brushes against the underside of her foot.

Megamind’s hands are truly lovely. Long and skilled elegant fingers. He holds her heel with all the gentleness in the world, a severe contrast to this morning. With her, he’s tender. With others, he’s awkward and troublesome and rough. She knew he was clueless when it came to most social interactions; while she didn’t know if it was because of humans in general, or the socializing part, Roxanne did know it was an educational experience to go shopping with him. 

He tolerated the girls who wanted to take their picture with her; but when it came to the check out, she couldn’t quite keep him in check. He was overly blunt in his open observations, and could not carry on a conversation without terrifying, or _being terrified of_ , the poor clerk who was simply trying to do his job. He seemed to use fear as a weapon when it effected him, too. She’s certain that in his early battles with Wayne, his goal was primarily on beating his nemesis. As for owning Metro City, it was the title and the place, not the people. He could barely stand the company of strangers.

…But back to his hands. Ahh, are they exquisite! How did she get so lucky to have him all to herself? 

“You are very ticklish,” he notes aloud, jamming the brush back into the little glass bottle. He pulls it back out and gently lifts her foot again. She sighs as he paints on another coat of deep navy. “If I had known that years ago, I would have drawn out plenty more reactions from you!”

“That would be cheating,” she says coyly, flexing her toes. 

He’s sitting in front her on the floor, as she sits back against one of the pillows they’ve taken from her bed, leaning against the foot of the couch. The television plays behind him, on some documentary about turtles, but she could care less about it right now. Her feet at in his lap, and he’s bent over her toes as he pretties her up. Beside her is a bowl of half melted watermelon sorbet, and another bowl of triple chocolate made from cashew milk. It’s dark out, and the only light besides her TV is the kitchen light, casting shadows on his sharp face, pinched in focus over her feet. She smiles, ridiculously happy in the moment.

“Precisely,” he purrs. “Cheating is in my veins. I’m a _supervillain,_ Miss Ritchi! I don’t play nice!”

“Oh, stop it you,” Roxanne snipes playfully, nudging his face with her other foot, all dark navy toes against his clear blue skin. He smirks, turning his head to press a kiss against the side of her foot. She pulls back, gasping, because she doesn’t want to give him more reason to poke fun at her ticklishness. But of course he catches it, and smirks at her again. 

As the last coat of polish is applied to her left pinkie toe, Megamind straightens his back and looks down at her feet, his canvas. “Voila!”

She carefully flexes her toes and wiggles them, admiring his handiwork. “You could make a living as a pedicurist,” she teases.

“Petty-cure,” he echos, tilting his head as his expression twists up. “I’m not familiar with the term.”

“What you just did,” she says, and carefully stands up off the floor. She huffs as she drops onto the couch, propping her feet up on the coffee table. “A manicurist does hands,” she wiggles her painted fingers, “but plenty of people do both.” Megamind chirps in response as he screws the brush top back onto the bottle, placing it carefully on the table before dropping down beside her. 

They returned home a little after lunch time; she managed to rope him into helping her cook a quick meal, but he was more helpful than she imagined. She’d almost forgotten he said he liked to bake and cook, when the desire arose. But cooking with Megamind was fun; a little silliness in the kitchen that resulted in a smudge of mayonnaise on her cheek and on his nose and peas all over the floor, but together they put together a tuna casserole—her grandmother’s star recipe. While that was in the oven, she turned around to find him hovering by her shoulder, his eyes smoldering with want.

Roxanne found herself being pressed against the counter, gently, with his hands on her waist. His lips chased hers, whispering pleas and inaudible desires. Her tongue sought his, making the alien gasp in mild shock, but doubling his efforts to mirror her. 

He was a quick learner. 

Their first kiss was unlike this one; while this one left her shaking and drooling with a desire for him to take her then and there on the kitchen floor, it did not make the first kiss pale in comparison. She still remembers as if it was just moments ago - the way he froze up in alarm at her placing her lips over his. Like he could not believe what was happening. Yet, slowly, as she pressed her body against his ever so slightly, her hands cupping his face, he steadily began to reciprocate. He pressed his own mouth to hers, unsure and stiff and awkward—all elbows and fluttering hands, until he slowly placed them on her waist. 

Now, he pressed against her with a new sense of urgency. A lustful urgency that burned in his eyes, demanding and needy. His mouth, hot and panting, at her neck and clavicle, made her moan aloud and crash into the stove, the knobs digging into her lower back. She hardly noticed, until Megamind pulled away sheepishly. As far as mood swings go, he was the king of it. Perhaps it was simply because of his inexperience.

To her mild disappointment, they calmed themselves down and made their way to the couch. They turned the TV on but neither was particularly interested. Instead, he rummaged around their bought goods until he came upon the nail polish. Of all the things he could ask of her, his request to paint her nails was the last thing she could possibly imagine. 

And so, having dug into the ice cream before they had their late lunch/early dinner, Roxanne found themselves sitting close together on the couch, with her admiring his handiwork.

“Megamind, did you ever paint your nails before?” She asks, tilting her head to lean against his. He grunted in response, gingerly taking ahold of her left hand, spreading her fingers out.

“I painted them what you call black as an adolescent. I painted them a second time with—well, I call it _star dust_. But Warden said it was a shade of violet. I didn’t really bother with my nails afterwords,” he explained, looking at his own fingers once he set her hand down. “Painting them is not really all that fun, at least for me, now that I’m an adult. Besides, I wear gloves most of the time.” Megamind glance at said gloves, which were limply hung over her television stand. She’s so used to seeing them on him that it was almost bizarre to see them without hands inside! A sillier part of her wanted to try them on for size. She didn’t because firstly, his hands were a bit larger, and secondly, he had two whole extra fingers.

“But painting yours was quite enjoyable,” he admits sheepishly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “…I’d like to do it again, if you’ll let me?”

She smiled softly, taking pity on his hesitance. “Of course. It’s more of a luxury for me, I’d imagine.”

He tutted, but didn’t respond.

At that moment, the timer to the oven went off, alerting them that the casserole was done. Megamind hummed happily, standing up with her as she went to get it. He liked her cooking, which she was pleased by. Of course, feeding people her own cooking was gratifying, but for him, it gave her a new sense of satisfaction that was _alien_ to her, though not unwelcome.

She watched him leap ahead of her, reaching for the oven with a cocksure smile as if he’d won a race. Shaking her head, Roxanne let him do it, still shaken to see him able to pull out a hot, glass pan out of the oven with ease using his bare hands.

As she watched him meddle in her kitchen, placing the pan on the counter and making a mild fuss about needing things not being in his immediate reach, she thought over the things that had transpired in the past weeks. 

Three weeks… had it really been that long?

This connection between them, if it was forced to be pinpointed on a specific date, was set off the day of his contact fell out during the failed kidnapping. The day after, Megamind showed up here, shaking in his boots, and practically begged on his knees to never tell what she saw. Which was confusing then, but understandable now. He saw himself ugly. Roxanne frowned, disagreeing with all of her heart. Megamind, so alien and strange, could not fathom being accepted by the human population on the principle that because was so different, he would be ridiculed more than he already was. Perhaps that's one of the reasons he became a villain. To be hated, feared, so that people had a lawful reason to. 

Roxanne could not, much to her anger, make people accept the unusual. The strange. The unique. Megamind knew that, and shut himself away so far he could barely socialize with others now. Would that ever change? 

When she blatantly told him she did not mind his alienness, his bright green reptilian eyes or the long blue tail, the extra fingers or the sharp, shark like teeth, Megamind took a leap of faith. He began to… trust her. And so, he started coming over early in the morning or late at night, simply to talk with her. He always had an excuse—he never showed up without reason, but Roxanne knew he was there to see her. For whatever reason, she’s mildly certain it wasn’t because he was in love with her yet. He was there to test a theory. To see if she truly didn’t mind the non-humanness of him. 

One thing led to another, and he suddenly decided it was too obvious he was getting close to her. Which led him to say he wanted to change their relationship. 

The rest was history, like any other couple just starting out; the kisses, the long talks, the gentle touches, the shared dinner, the moment his tail dropped itself and he was forced to stay with her as it grew back.

He was fine now. But it was clear he wan’t exactly going anywhere any time soon.

Roxanne couldn’t help but think: how long would this thing between them last? She’d been head over heels before, but never like this. She’d had boyfriends, a few girlfriends, and was content to live out in a mutually beneficial relationship that would wind down someday. Typically that happened when they got sick of each other, or things just didn’t work out. Other factors got in the way, her heart was mended, tears dried up, life went on.

But she’s known Megamind for nearly seven years. It feels like she’s known him all of her life, yet this _thing_ is so new. So… strong. Her heart leaped into her throat and her chest tightened at the thought of him approaching her one day and simply saying, _I think we should see other people_.

She doesn’t think she could _ever_ get over that heartbreak. Yet, one day, he would have to go. This blissful domestic-ness between them would find an end. They had two very different visions in life, two very different paths to lead, and…

“I can hear you thinking, treasure,” Megamind says, startling her out of her sudden moroseness. He moved so quietly, and she so deep in though, that Roxanne didn’t hear him abandon his kitchen work to come up to her. He tilts his head, almost touching hers, eyes bright and cautious, searching. “Tick tick tick.” He waggles his fingers. “What’s gotten you so _mel-on-cholly?”_

“What?”

“Sad.”

“Oh. Nothing.” He frowns, and opens his mouth to insist, but she shakes her head. “Really, it’s nothing. Let’s eat?”

Megamind won’t let it go, she knows. He looks too determined now, but he’s still so tender with her he won’t press her for the truth. Upset that she’s ruined the mood, she tries to soothe it by a kiss to his cheek. “Come on, sweetheart. It’s been a long day.”

The blue alien eyes her warily, tail curling a bit to brush against her ankle, but he complies and follows her into the kitchen.

~.~.~.~

Supper was relatively quiet, and with her sudden terrifying thoughts of him leaving, she tells him she’s turning in early. Megamind, not having exactly done anything alone in her apartment before (besides when he left for a bit yesterday morning), declines her offer of having full rein of the television. Instead, he follows her upstairs and turns the covers down with her, sliding beneath the bedclothes before she could ask if he was even tired.

Wordlessly, she gets in beside him. As she turns the bedside lamp off, and they’re bathed in darkness, he asks, in the protection of the night, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Megamind.”

“… B—”

“I'm fine. Really.” Roxanne then turns over and pretends to go to sleep. It’s weird though, knowing her bedfellow was aware of her alertness, and feeling his buzzing, half-manic energy. He’s watching her, she thinks, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. How good was his night vision? Could he see her in this pitch black? Could he see the way she wanted to turn in on herself?

They stay in that state until she falls asleep, restlessly.

~.~.~.~

Roxanne wakes up to the sound of beeping. Instinctually, after a seven year routine, she reaches out to put the alarm clock on snooze. However, her alarm was never set, and as she slaps the clock the sound doesn’t turn off. Her eyes open, alert, to see the sun barely peaking over the city’s horizon through her window.

She feels Megamind shift and sit up in the bed, and the beeping stops. She turns over to face him, askance. He’s holding his wrist up, watch up in the air. “What, Minion?” He asks with a huff. There are dark marks under his eyes. Did he sleep?

“Sir,” comes the static shrill voice of his fishy companion through the watch’s speakers. 

“What?” Snaps the alien.

“There’s—been an incident.”

“Elaborate.”

“Um. Is Miss Ritchi there?” Minion seems to say her name like it’s a curse. God. Did he really dislike her that much, or was he just jealous for ‘stealing’ his boss/friend?

“Yes.”

“You may want to bring her to the Lair, too, Sir.”

Megamind looks to her in surprise, as if she has any idea why Minion was asking for _both_ of them. She shrugs, as clueless as he. The alien squirms around until he can slide off his side of the bed. She props herself up on her elbow, throat still parched from her sleep. “What happened?”

“I—um, there’s—“

“Speak!”

“Someone took a picture.”

“What?”

“A picture of you and Miss Ritchi. Together. It's all over the Internet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me.


	19. Waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said:  
> Loving Loving the Alien! Hope that ice cream's non-dairy organic so Megs doesn't die 😜Also must make up w/Minion ASAP! Prompt- What kind of music/sound does he enjoy most, and why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't bother to edit. sns

Rain beats rhythmically against her car’s windshield, the whippers squeaking and swishing away water. Their only source of light was the city’s nightlife and streetlamps, which set a yellowish hue on them. It reflected off Megamind’s inhumanly smooth skin, and bounced off his irises. Neither of them spoke. With his legs drawn up to his chest, he stares at his boney knees as his tail flickers idly where his feet should be. Roxanne just followed his dismal directions to the “Evil” Lair. Besides him, it was as quiet as a grave, save for the purr of her car’s engine and the sound of other cars zooming past. 

“Turn left,” he murmured quietly. So quietly she wondered if she heard him correctly. She spared him a glance out of the corner of her eye, fighting the urge to bite her lower lip. He was so curled in on himself she could actually feel how badly he wished for the earth to open up and swallow him (or them) up. They didn’t even now how severe the damages to their images were, yet, she was already trying to plan a quick one-way ticket to some small town no-ones ever heard of, preferably in another continent. 

Honestly, with last night’s glorious awakening to reality, this was the last damn thing they needed. Just another nail in the coffin. This nail, however, Roxanne was sure to possibly bring this relationship to a premature halt. 

Roxanne turned left as he instructed, finding herself in a rough, abandoned part of town that mostly consisted of rundown apartment buildings or abandoned warehouses. Megamind began to stir beside her, and raises his head up, large green eyes scanning the bleak, graffitied sceenery. “Drive through that wall,” he pointed. “It’s a hologram.”

She looked at him dubiously. Despite trusting him with more things than she should (like her heart), that wall looked very realistic. So realistic she found herself staring at a soda can propped up against it. Her otherworldly companion shook his head. “It will recognize our signatures.”

Right. Evil genius. But she still didn’t completely trust that. Still, she looked around for people, and finding none, pressed on the gas and turned off the road to drive into the wall. Prepping for impact, she winced as the hood of her car smoothly slid through the wall, which buzzed and sparked like, as he put it, a hologram. 

Shaking her head, she drove into the private, walled area of an abandoned theater house. She recognized it as the old Scott Theatre, which use to play Broadway plays and old classic movies back a couple of decades ago. Finding it somewhat poetic that Megamind would chose to live in something the richest family in the whole tristate area technically owned, she turned and gave him a _Really?_ look. He smiled sheepishly at her, but jumped out as if the car was on fire once she stopped the car. When he shut the door, she reaches over to the glove drawer and pulls out some mint gum. 

In their haste to leave to meet Minion, they hadn’t taken the time to freshen up. Before the call ended she was already throwing herself out of bed (as the shock and horror finally let her have use of her own body again) and getting a pair of shoes on with and a knitted black cardigan. She was still in her PJs, a loose pair of old gray sweat pants, and a spaghetti-strap top. Her hair was still in a rat’s nest, and her mouth tasted like something foul. She unwrapped the gum, slightly guilty he didn’t make her talk until now. 

Roxanne followed him out. The grounds were bare and sandy, with stray dandelions and other weeds the only source of life. Besides that there were several pieces of scrap metal lying about, all varying in sizes like bolts to what she guessed could have been the chest of a giant robot once. Finding herself slowing down as she looked around in stifled awe, she pulled herself together and jogged up to meet his agitated pace as her flip-flops kicked up dust. 

When he stopped she nearly ran into him. Shuffled backwards, she finds him glaring at the ground as if it had done him a serious offense. Meeting his gaze, she found a rough-looking welcome mat with the words “SECRET ENTRANCE” on the front. She blinked rapidly. It was certainly in-character for the past, crazy but silly Megamind. But this was clearly not his work. “I’m going to skin him alive,” he grumbled, and walked forward. Like the hologram that let them through in the car, this one let them in by just walking through. At least she could feel herself in this one.

She found herself immediately bombarded with a visual overload. This was Megamind’s domaine. There was no doubt. It was, all in all, an organized mess of disorder. Roxanne did not know what her eyes should focus on first, but what she could say right away that it was a very large space. What she could guess where once theater seats had been taken away long ago, leaving a bare shell of a ridiculously large room. What she guessed was a stage once had been modified too, but the curtain remained, and could provide a loose since of privacy to what she assumed was Megamind’s “office”, a jungle made of sharp metals and weapons and saws and scribbles of ideas for mass destruction. The room was definitely not bare now, instead housing hanging inventions and scattered papers and tools and—this screamed Megamind. Absolutely nothing like her. 

Megamind, having gone to bed in his spandex (or, a spandex-like material, because it felt like leather but stretched to neatly form to his figure), had just had to pull on his shoes and cape. Seeing him in his Lair (yes, a very fitting term) brought her back to years ago when all she felt for him was begrudging interest — on the best of days. Had the last month actually happened? Had to, because when she was kidnapped they brought her to a new location and knocked her out. And she never wore pajamas to a kidnapping, either.

He clapped his hands and suddenly a swarm came upon them. Wild bongs and blinking lights went off in all directions and the biggest group of brainbots she’s ever seen was around them. More toward Megamind, but—

“Oh, my babies! Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!” The alien squealed with delight, patting his knees like he was greeting a pet dog. The swarm—it was most definitely a swarm—went off in electronic and mechanical excitement, shaking their long claw arms and wagging their bodies in the air. A few looked so ready to bust their bolts they actually fell to the ground in feverish enthusiasm to be reunited with their master. It took her a moment of just standing there watching the scene unfold to realize he’d called them his babies. And himself Daddy. That self-made nickname was not new, however. She’d heard him call himself that a few times when she was waking up from the knock-out gas. 

As most of the bots greeted their long-missed maker, a few turned their eye stalks over to his companion. She knew they knew her. Megamind had made them with AI, no doubt about that. She half expected them to attack. One did open it’s mouth and mutter, “Intruder,” but Megamind smacked that one on the head and replied with, “This is Roxanne Ritchi. She will be Mommy.”

Mommy. She’s Mommy.

_I’m Mommy._

Before she can even start to mentally pick that apart a loud and familiar clunking noise alerting them away from the heart warming scene of alien and his bots.

Minion, in a rusty looking gorilla suit, walked out from another room and stood by the red curtain, big arms crossed over his chest. Megamind, growing serious, met his somber gaze and let the bot in his arms go. He waved his arms and the swarm around him scattered out, but hung over their heads and by their heals. Most of the bots had a blue electric glass dome, but a few had pink electricity. One of said pink ones chose to follow her. 

“Minion,” Megamind greeted with a dip of his head. Unnerved by his lack of zeal to greet his life-long friend, and only other alien they knew, and by the dip of his head (he never did that before! Did he?), she watched as the two stared before the piranha-like fish turned to her, human-like eyes boring into hers. At least they were human for the most part. Perhaps the pupils were bigger than average, but she saw him in a new light. 

Minion had a light green, smooth “face”, which grew a very dark shade around his body, which faded into what looked like shiny scales. Around his face he was freckled with bioluminescent spots. Along his head were floating tendrils that glowed electric blue. He didn’t look like much of a swimmer, as far as fish go, as his fins were smaller than his body by significant size. Under him were more tendrils, almost like tentacles, but they didn’t move much. Roxanne realizes she’s never actually looked at him closely before, as his robotic suits made him seem giant. Yet, his actual self was smaller than her head. 

As far as Roxanne knew, Minion could not speak normally. His mouth moved but no sound came out. If he could speak English with his own mouth, she never had the private to hear it. It would be impossible through the water and the thick glass dome that was the suit’s head. So, as the suit followed Minion’s brain controls (it’s what that metal thing on his head does, right?), it also let him speak, like that in a manner of Stephen Hawking. But his suit’s voice sounded a little like David Cross. 

He rose up enough in his fish-bowl head that the metal stick protruding out the back of his head (body?) clinked against the glass. “Miss Ritchi,” he greeted her stiffly, before turning around to lead them to a giant set of computer monitors. Megamind crossed his arms, face hard, a mirror of her own stance, as they watched him open up an internet browser. 

He opened up a fairly popular media site called Snip It. Which, she knew from being apart of the media, was where things began then they get famous online. Mostly, at least. Sure enough, with several hundred pinning responses and reposts, as a photograph.

It was definitely them. In her apartment’s living room. She’s wearing pajamas like she is now, thin crop top and shorts, open purple robe. Megamind has one gloved hand on her hip, the other on her back, and she has her arms under his to hug him close. Both of them are blissfully unaware of the photographer, eyes closed and her head tilted to the side to better access her blue beau’s mouth. Her breasts press against his chest, his tail curled around her leg. Clear, practiced ease with each other. Megamind looks rough in this photo, despite his tender kiss and hold on her. Dust on his clothes, a little tear in his suit, a few scratches on his face. He looked like a villain. If he was human he would be the type of guy mothers warned their daughters about. But because he was very un-human, and dressed in all his leathers and spikes, he looked like a nightmare. Though to Roxanne, all she saw was his dear, tender face, and all his special quirks that she loved to bits. Her heart clenched. 

“A lot of people are saying it’s fake,” Minion said, pulling her out of her head. She longed to be in that position again with Megamind, but here it was, a private and precious thing, being shown to the world. Roxanne knew they wouldn’t understand. It was quite possible a warrant would be out for her arrest for _fraternizing with the enemy_. Or pitted for being brainwashed. Either way she was screwed, at least career-wise. Soon, she mused bitterly, she would find herself on the receiving end of her business.

She looked from Minion to the screen again, seeing the photo was posted by a user called _chickmagnet69_. She frowned. Roxanne glanced to Megamind. He wore his heart out on his sleeve this time, and looked hurt and worried and scared all at once that she wanted nothing more than to grab him and flee off to Romania or whatever it was they said they got parts from.

“That little bastard,” she cried out, glaring at the username. “It was Hal!”

“Who?” Megamind squawked.

“My cameraman,” she explained, turning to him. “The guy you threw out yesterday morning.”

His eyes grew dark. “That grabby little toad?”

“You know who did it?” Minion’s jaw gritted as he asked. “Shall I get the brainbots to get him?”

“No, no,” Megamind shook his head almost violently. “I will deal with this myself. Though, we shall have to work quickly. I don’t want Mr. Goodie Two-Shoes to come smarming his way in this.”

“But like Minion said, some think it’s fake,” She said, laying a hand on his arm. He flinched, but settled quickly and leans toward her touch. “Maybe I can just say I was with Metro Man the day this was supposedly photoshopped. Everyone will believe him if he says that.”

Megamind pursed his lips. “That… could work. Yes. But. I’m still going to get my hands on that bleeding pig.”

“Um, Sir?“

“Megamind, please don’t tell me you actually plan on hurting him. He’s really just harmless—“

“And I have a small head! He needs to learn to keep his grubby hands to himself, like some peeping Tom—“

“Sir.”

“He’s not worth it!”

“He deserves what my fists plan on doing to him!”

“Sir!”

They turned back to the henchfish, both glaring. Minion, somber throughout this whole meeting, backed up at the harsh looks. He huffed, and turned toward the screen. “I’m afraid that won’t do. Look at this. It was posted a few minutes ago.”

 _chickmagnet69_ had posted again, but this time it was a video. They all gave each other glances, uncertain, as Minion pulled the link open. 

She knew it was Hal the moment the video started. He sat in a dark messy room, the only light source being his computer, with his face obscured by a Metro Man mask. The audio had been altered, giving him more of an anonymous feel by his deep voice, but she knew that cheesy t-shirt, food stains, physical form, and movements of his hands anywhere. What she didn’t recognize was the room. She’d been at his studio apartment before, and this wasn’t it. It looked like a warehouse. 

**“This is a message to the woman —the _slut_ — who broke my heart. If you don’t come out and follow my demands, more pictures will be spread. Megamind, you fucking bastard, you think you’re so tough with all your gadgets and thingies? I bet you can’t even fight for real. I’ll break you like a fucking twig. Fight me like a man or I’ll show the world what a monster you really are! Bring the cops and you’re dead. Don’t believe me? How about now!”**

The computer camera was turned around, and—

“Oh my god!” She cried out, reaching out and grabbing Megamind under his arm. 

In the middle of the bare warehouse sat two figures tied to chairs, back-to-back. Their mouths were taped shut, but she knew who they were. The woman’s soft round face, the man’s salt and pepper hair, strong jaw. “Mama! Papa!” She sobbed and would have fallen to her knees if Megamind hadn’t immediately grasped her elbows to support her. 

**“Come tonight or I kill them both”** said a new voice, though still modified by the audio. **”I told you I’d find your weak spot, boy. Well, if she means anything to you then you’ll come. You know the place. Otherwise, well, I guess you lost the only girl who would suck your freakish cocks.”** Megamind let out a chocked gasp, and his hold on her faltered **”Oh yeah, you heard me right, Blu. But that’s just the tip of the ice burg. If you're late everyone will get to see those lovely autopsy photos of you. Let’s see who the real villain is. Ta-ta.”**

The screen went dead.

Her heart was beating a million miles a minute. She couldn’t breath. She couldn’t think. All she could hear was the sound of her own heart, and what she though was Megamind’s, as all she could do was lean against his heaving chest. He wasn’t better off, and before she knew it they both fell to the ground, her between his splayed legs. “I—“ he began, but choked on the words. 

It was clueless as to who was worse off. Roxanne, because her parents were being held hostage, or Megamind, because his worse nightmare was coming to life. She decided, over the gaping silence that swallowed them whole, that he was unable to handle this. He froze up, clutched her arms, and pressed his face into her hair as he began to hyperventilate. She twisted around and held him close, watch as he went a pale pasty blue right before her eyes. 

Their shared horror and panic was taken over by Minion, who silently walked over and plucked his boss off the ground as if he weighted nothing. She sobbed out for him not to take Megamind away, but her plea fell on deaf ears. Instead, she scrambled to get to her feet as she followed the henchfish into a back room. They went through a door that led to a—pool.

It covered most of the room. It was cool and dark in here, but she watched as the little lights in the water reflected off the ripples of water. Minion flipped on a switch, and something in the floor turned on and small waves began to be formed. Silent, Roxanne watched the fish take off Megamind’s cape, boots, and socks with such a refined quickness that she had no doubt in the world that this wasn’t the first time this has happened.

And then, picking the pale and mute Megamind back up, Minion tossed him into the water. Megamind barely resisted and floundered about before Minion flipped another switch, which caused a metal cover to start gliding over the pool. She gasped, thinking he was going to drown the other alien.

“He’ll be fine,” Minion reassured her. “He can stay down there for up to, oh, about twelve hours.” She honestly shouldn’t be surprised, but nothing can honestly get crazier right now.

Minion then grabbed her shoulder, a little too roughly, and led them out of the room where Megamind was literally trapped under water. “Why—“

“The sound of the water, and the feel of it, calms him down,” he explained, as they came back into the main room. The brainbots flitted about. “He's more aquatic than you think. Give him time to process this.”

“No, why are you being such an ass?” She hissed, pulling away from him. He glared at her, baring his teeth. She was glad he didn’t have access to her, or she’d bet he would have bitten her at that moment. 

“My feelings toward you are very justified, I assure you.”

“Justified!? How?” Frankly, she should be worried about her parents, about Megamind’s private matters, about literally anything else, but she was helpless and more lost than any kidnapping she’d ever experienced before. Minion was the only one here, and damn it if she wasn’t going to find out why he was being so fucking rude and she was so fucking upset and scared—she had to take it out on someone and Minion was the perfect source.

“This is frankly your fault, Miss Ritchi.”

“Ex-fucking-scuse me!?”

“Look, I’m very sorry about your parents, but right now we can do nothing.”

“That’s not true,” she said viciously, seething at him. “I’ll call Wayne.”

Minion glared at her. “Mr. Scott is not a friend of Sir.”

“Well, he’s a friend of mine and I think— _public humiliation_ besides a _hostage situation_ will get him to help us. It’s his job!”

“Miss Ritchi, this is a villain matter.”

“It was until my parents got involved! And now it’s all over the internet!”

“Exactly,” he said sharply. “I’m sure Mr. Scott already is aware. However, we can do nothing at the moment but wait for tonight. The biggest reason that your parents are being held captive, and I’m sure this Hal person’s partner was Psycho Delic. He’s Sir’s biggest rival in the underworld. I do not know how he got Sir’s medical files, which were supposed to be destroyed long ago, but I do not think he plucked them out of thin air. He waited to do this, and Hal’s photo of you two was the perfect opportunity for him.”

_“Why?”_

“Competition, Miss Ritchi. It’s a dirty business and Sir’s been absent for a while.” He gave her a look that spelled out exactly who he blamed. "They want to destroy him. Throwing him in prison won't work. It's next to impossible to kill him. But they can go about other ways to bring him down. You, Wayne's girlfriend, just gave them the key. Look how fast they worked to do this." 

"I...I..."

He cuts her off. “Sir’s constant presence keeps the others on their toes and in line. Now he’s gone and imprinted himself on _you_ and the underworld is ready to throw him over. I'm quite surprised they didn’t do this sooner, but if they had just given the threat of exposing Sir’s secrets he would have tracked them down and taken care of it. And by that he would have not hesitated to kill them. Now it’s a public matter, and a scandal, because of that photo. Not only is Sir’s privacy and dignity being held at gunpoint, so is your parents. Civilian lives. Professional villains love attention, Miss Ritchi, and you two all but handed them their birthday and Christmas gifts all into one.”

“Oh my God.”

“So yes, Miss Ritchi, I am not happy with you at all.” He turned around and marched to the computers, back to her. She wanted to cry and scream and throw something, she wanted to run back into that room and jump in with Megamind with the water and the sound of waves. She wanted to get her parents and have her mom sooth her hair like she did when Roxanne was small. 

“Wait,” she said, not exactly sure what she wanted to say. Minion did not turn around, he actually didn’t give any indication he was listening. “What do you mean, he imprinted on me?”

Minion’s fines folded in, and his tendrils under his body clenched like an angry octopus. He turned around in his bowl, staring at her. “You mean you don’t know?”

“What?” She cried out in alarm. 

He glared at her even harder. “You—ugh. Sir is not human,” he gritted out, looking seconds away from doing something physical to her. “He does not do human things like a human. He does not do human relationships. He cannot. So he cannot form them like a human. He does them like his own kind. His people didn’t just fall in love. His parents just didn’t meet and get married. They imprinted.”

“I don’t understand.” As far as she knew, the word “imprinted” was applied to baby animals like birds and ducks. They saw the first living thing and assumed it was its provider. But Minion had another meaning.

“Single Females of his kind live alone. Single Males live in packs, with friends. When a male and female get close, for whatever reason, in any intimate moment like _eating together_ , the imprint is formed. That’s it. You’re together. A lot of his kind didn’t get a say in it. But they can’t help it. You have to be together. He can feel your emotions when he's close to you. He can track you down even if you masked your scent trail. You could go on the other side of the world and tell him you never want to see him again and he’d follow you anyway. You could go off and marry Mr. Scott and Sir will still be here, waiting for you. If the separation didn’t kill him, first, that is. His genetic material will only respond to you. He can’t have children any other way now. You are all he’ll ever have. Even if he grows to hate you, he can't leave you.”

“That… that’s not….”

“Miss Ritchi, he’s your soulmate whether you like it or not. And frankly, because you’re human, I see that as a death sentence. Because you're human. One day you'll leave him, and it will kill him. And there's nothing I can do to help him now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been struggling with a lot of life decisions lately, and a lot of panic attacks and anxiety due to it so... this is definitely late, and the longest ya'll have had to wait for an update for this story.
> 
> I'm sorry.


	20. Mates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said:  
> For LTA: yay! Everyday I check to see if you have updated. I hope life treats you well. And please, please PLEASE for the love of god, don't have this story tragically have the world see Megamind's pictures of his private nether regions. The bear thought of it is very cruel. -suggesting prompt: does Megamind knows he has imprinted himself on Roxanne? if so or not, how does he responds?
> 
> \-------
> 
> Thank you for your kind words, Anon!!! <3 It means so much! (hugs and kisses!)
> 
> Enjoy the longest chapter of LTA yet.
> 
> And yes.
> 
> They finally do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: 
> 
> Megamind does know the password.

It was a lot to take in.

Imprinted, Minion called it. This. This _thing_ , between her and Megamind. The way the alien fish described it was very blunt. It was nothing more to Megamind than a chemical response to the first female he was left alone with. That must be why Minion never left them alone during kidnappings. Huh. And here she thought he actually liked her as a friend. And of course this hurt worse than all of the parting cutting words of all of her ex’s combined. It was a freight train straight through her chest, choking her up to her throat so tight that Roxanne fled the room in a blind fit, eyes burning with tears she stubbornly refused to let fall. Despite her pride, despite the inner _I told you so_ that this relationship couldn’t last forever, they fell anyway, marring her face with salty streaks, eyes red as if she’d rubbed her face with onion. 

If it wasn’t bad enough to learn that Megamind’s feelings were all fabricated DNA nonsense, the fact that he was chained to her for life was the real kicker. To her horror, disgusting, selfish glee fluttered in her belly. She could have him all to herself for as long as he was alive. Would have to, according to the bitter words of Minion. Clearly the fish would spite her for it for his whole life, too. 

Lossing him was a terrible thought as it was, but having him to herself, and knowing he would be unhappy with her was a piss-yourself inducing nightmare she had never had the imagination to even think of in passing. _I want him to be happy, even if that wasn’t with me,_ a part of her said. Another, more nasty voice said, _I can do with him whatever I want, emotionally fat by the fact he was hers forever._

Roxanne didn’t know where she ended up or how long she’d been crying. All she knew was storming into a random room and collapsing to the floor with a throat-ripping wail. When she finally uncurled her self from a dusty corner in the small room, a room stock full of books, most in other languages besides English, she found herself not alone. 

Three large eye stocks stared back at her, unblinking and all seeing. She blinked in surprise, wondering how long the trio of brainbots had been watching her cry her eyes out like a baby. 

The one on the left was familiar to her. It was the same brainbot that had carried Megamind away the night he went to get his watch. The one in the middle had a large metal mohawk on the top of its glass dome head, crudely painted red. It was the same bot that had called her an intruder. The brainbot on the right was the same pink bot that had followed her. It even had eyelashes. 

“Hello,” she greets tentatively, wondering why they followed her here, and if they could respond somehow. Would they? After all, according to their maker, she was _Mommy_. Were they simply curious? Like a gaggle of puppies wanting to meet the new person?

The pink bot _bowged_ at her, while the one with the mohawk raised its claws as if prepared to attack or pick something up. She couldn’t tell. The one she did know, blue electricity buzzing in its dome but no metal piece to decorate its head, bobbed in the air. 

“Do you—do you have names?”

They stared at her for a little bit, before the red one jerked itself upward, facing the ceiling. Now she could see its “belly”, and on it was a set of numbers. 43-E. “Forty-Three E?”

It chirped as if to affirm. Following 43-E the others did the same. The pink one was 91-A, and the spikeless blue one was 9-R. Did Megamind call them this? “Does he have nicknames for you? Like Spot, or Rover?”

They didn’t respond, just glance amongst themselves before training their eyes back on her. “Well. Everyone needs a name,” she said, voice hoarse. She looked at the littlest bot. “I’ll call you Spikeless.” It tilted its body/head, and even she could tell it was studying this somehow. “I’ll call you Rufous,” she told the middle one. It was motionless. Finally, she turned to the pink one. “And I’ll call you Lady.”

Lady _bawged_ twice. 

And so, newly named Spikeless, Rufous, and Lady were now her only friends in the world. Wow. Go Roxanne (not).

“Why are you here?”

Lady made more noise and suddenly reached over to slap Spikeless on the back. It snapped its bear trap teeth and hissed, but turned to Roxanne. To her surprise, it spoke.

It didn’t speak like an AI in the movies, but it sounded like it turned on a radio station that was constantly changing channels. It flitted between the religious sermons, news, sports, songs, talk shows. All she could do was stare in confusion. Lady, as if seeing her struggle to understand, snapped a command in that bawging language of theirs. Spikeless slowed down the sounds, and she finally was able to make out what it was trying to show her.

 _“Our Lord and Maker! — All by my self, don’t wanna be all by my — Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight — What a knock-out! He’s practically shaking in his boots! — The ocean is a very dangerous place during storms —“_ Roxanne blinked rapidly, as the bot continued to nitpick between radio station until the point became clear, though confusingly so. 

“You want me to go to Megamind?”

They all _bawged_ excitedly, wiggling themselves hard enough that their long metal arms shook in the air like wind-chimes. She gave them all a sad look, but couldn’t help the feeling of longing in her stomach. She wanted him, selfishly so, but Minion said he needed the waves in the indoor pool to calm down. But would—but would their bond help him more? They were getting along lately, so he couldn’t really hate her yet. Perhaps she could go to him and just sit with him. Would that help enough?

But she shook her head. Roxanne doubted Minion would let her in to see him. “Minion won’t let me,” she said with a pinched moue. Rufous hissed at this, and reached out to grab her arm. Yelping at the cold sudden touch of his claw, which clamped down on her wrist so hard that she thought the bot actually might break something, Roxanne was hoisted violently to her feet, and grabbed onto by Spikeless who took her other arm. Lady did nothing to stop the others, and bolted forward, with her companions following. 

Which yanked her along like a ragdoll. One flipflop flew off as she kicked the air, toes barely touching the ground. It hurt, but she bit into her lip as the bots did their thing. No point in arguing with robots more advanced than any other AI on earth. And, she didn’t want Minion to hear her and take it into his hands (fins?) to stop them. Or her.

The “boys” on her arms came to an abrupt halt, as Lady stopped in front of them, at a corner where the main room was. Her eye stalk swerved around the corner to look, and then motioned for them to follow. Quickly, and silently, and feeling like a child out past bedtime, they came to the same room with the pool.

It was dark as night, this time. The pool cover was still on, and she could hear nothing and no sign of life at all as her eyes strained in the dark. Lady flipped a switch on the wall, and the pool cover began to open again, filling the room with the soft blue light that glowed from the pool’s lighting system. The bots dropped her; giving no time to let her regain balance, or even a foot on the ground, Roxanne fell to her side, grunting in pain.

Lady hovered over her for a moment, but flew off after two or three seconds to leave the room. The door closed shut behind them, and the sound of a lock being put in place.

Did they just _lock_ her in here?

Roxanne lifted her head off the ground to see the room bright enough to see now. Unlike before, where she was still reeling from the threats upon their heads, she could observed things better.

The pool was a large oval pit filled to the brim in churning water, small waves lapping at the edges and spilling over onto the bit of floor she had. Blue lights lined all around the inside, giving it some ethereal cave pool look with bioluminescence chemicals making the water glow. For all she knew there were chemicals in the water. Perhaps better suited for Megamind’s skin? She didn’t think so, but one could never be too careful. 

Speaking of Megamind, a figure all too familiar sat at the bottom of the pool, in a very loose fetal position. She crawled over to the edge and stuck her head over. No response, and by the looks of things this was a very, very deep pool. She wouldn’t have been able to tell unless Megamind was literally sitting at the bottom.

So she took off her one remaining flipflop and smacked the water, hoping he could somehow see her or hear her. The waves weren’t making things quiet, but it wasn’t so loud that she couldn’t hear the sound of her own beating heart drumming in her ears.

To her satisfaction, she saw him lift his head, face blurred by the ripples. He blinked those big green eyes and unfurled himself. She caught a glimpse of his webbed feet spreading wide as he kicked off, swimming gracefully to the surface.

“Roxanne,” he said breathlessly, water dripping off him. His suit clung to him, wet and shiny. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry about your parents. I’ll get them. We can save them. I can d—“

“Sweetheart,” she cooed, cupping his cheek. Oh how she wanted, no, _needed_ to cry out and ask him to hold her, tell her that it was all going to be okay. But she wasn’t here for her sake. “It’s okay. I trust you.”

His wide reptilian eyes searched her face, looking for something. He tilted his head, a drop of water falling from his chin stubbles. She moved her hand down his cheek to run her thumb along his sharp chin, feeling how soft his hairs were. Unlike a human male, he didn’t grow facial hair as fast, and his stubble was always soft, like kitten fur. She sighed and pulled back. 

She had a lot of questions for him. One being what he wanted from her, and if he was aware he imprinted on her. If he wasn’t, shame on Minion for not telling his so called “friend”. Yet if Megamind _was_ aware of his irreversible bond to her, then why would he risk being alone with her? Or did he not have to be alone with a woman to imprint? Had he already done so, over the course of their years as damsel and villain? Was that why he always kidnapped her and her alone? Or had it formed when he came to her apartment that day after their last failed kidnapping, when he wanted her to keep his little secret about his eyes? Did he imprint right away like baby ducks to their mothers? Or had it formed over time, with each and every visit to her home? Was it during their first kiss?  
The night they had dinner together? The night they shared a bed? 

The night she read to him and made out with him until he cried tears of happiness and she laughed uncontrollably? 

Roxanne leaned over the edge and pressed a kiss to his forehead. He shivered under her touch, and leaned forward, silently begging for more. She propped her own forehead against his, until their noses were almost touching. “Maybe we’re just overreacting. Maybe Wayne found them already and took care of it.”

Megamind pulled back, hands grasping the edge of the pool. He shook his head, frowning. “I doubt it. The underworld has done more horrid things than you can imagine, all under his nose.”

“But Wayne can hear everything, he—“

“Boy Wonder,” he spat, but there was no true malice in his voice, “cannot hear _everything_. A lot of the underground crimes in Metrocity are actually underground! He can’t hear through earth, oddly enough. He also can’t be everywhere at once. Third of all, this town is still corrupt. He’s not unaffected by it. His precious family is the cause for most of it. This isn’t a city run by angels, treasure.”

She stretched out her body to lie in the puddle of pool water (it was fresh water) that had already soaked her clothes. “I was afraid you’d say that.”

“Because of your public relationship with him he will be involved someway. I’m sure the news is already trying to find us, in-between interviews with him and speculations about our pic-tour.”

She groaned and put her face in the crook of her elbow. All she wanted was to go back in time to a few days ago when everything was coming up roses. Now she had about a million problems on her plate. Besides Megamind’s nakedness being threatened to go around the internet, and her parents’ lives, there was also one big problem she had been avoiding. One that had been present the day she kissed him for the first time. 

She was _involved_ with a _supervillain_. Not just _any_ supervillain, but _the_ supervillain. The only alien Earth knew about. The one that made people shake in their boots, knowing they might not be alone in the universe. He scared them not because he blew up things on occasion, not because his city-wide fits of destruction, not the occasion death threat, not the serial kidnappings, not his incredible intellect, but because of what he was. Inhuman. A freak, according to them. Something they couldn’t understand. An unknown factor that will divide the people by two. Those who want him dead, and those who want to strap him down and cut him open to see what makes him tick. 

Roxanne choked on the thought, and thought back to earlier when Hal (and Psycho Delic, was it?) threatened Megamind not just with his “lover’s” parents, but his autopsy photos. An autopsy was done on a _dead_ person… by opening the body and—

She was going to be sick.

Megamind’s eyes widen and he reached over for her, clearly sensing her distress. He warbled in confusion, petting her hair with his wet hands and demanding to know why she was on the verge of tears yet again.

“It’s just—what did they do to you? Why would they do this?”

His nostrils flared. “People love a good show.”

“That doesn’t give them the right!” She shouted, voice echoing off the walls. She was too upset and angry on his behalf that she didn’t question if the room was soundproof. Her blue companion huffed and suddenly, gently, grasped her shoulder. 

“Come swim.”

“What?”

“Come swim. Swim. Swim with me,” he urged, almost demanding it like he would during his past schemes. Before she can do anything, he kicks off the wall and rolls around on the surface of the water like an otter, eyes watching her like a hawk.

Swimming. Swimming with Megamind. Okay. She can do that. 

Roxanne swallowed and stood up, careful to keep her balance on the slick wet floor as she got up to her feet. Her side was sore from falling, but her arms were probably bruised. Despite that bit of pain, her attention became hyper focused on Megamind. Reaching up, she slowly pulled off her half drenched cardigan. It fell to the floor, plopping. Some water had seeped through to her tank top, and her nipples, pinched from the cold, poked against the fabric. She looked down, knowing when this top got wet it would show her breasts. Looking farther, she regarded her sweats.

When she looked back to to him, she would have laughed at the look of abashed surprise and embarrassment in his face. Clearly he had expected her to jump in just the way she was. “I can’t swim in sweat pants,” she said, surprised by the coyness seeping into her voice.

Megamind’s cheeks tinted purple, and his pointed ears went a lovely shade of lilac. Yet no words were needed now, and though knowing it was selfish and wrong and possibly taking advantage, she let the outside world fade away.

Roxanne untied her pants, slowly, meticulously, pulling one gray string out until the bow gave away, and the waist became loose around her hips. As she lets go, the pants slide down her legs and pool at her feet. 

His face couldn’t get redder, she thought, but watched as he could not look away. This was fine, right? A tit for tat? She saw him, now he could see her. An equivalent exchange. A willing exchange. 

She stood on display for him in nothing but her white top and lacy cotton panties, a faded baby blue color, and a tiny black box at the front of the elastic. How fitting. 

Wordlessly, the woman lowered herself onto the wet floor, her bottom instantly cold on the hard surface. Roxanne stuck her toes in, finding it cold but not terrible, and then her feet. Her audience watch in silence, but she could not bring herself to look up from her knees. It had been so long since she took up the power of seduction. A mighty tool for any woman who knew her body. And she did know her body. Knew what she liked, what she didn’t. But her job was so demanding and dangerous. She hadn’t been with anything in quite some time. Probably about six or seven years. 

But she sucked up her fleeing courage and made it word with what little she had left. Slowly, she grabbed onto the edges of the pool and lowered herself down into the water. She hissed at the cold, but welcomed it, knowing it was healing for him.

Megamind said nothing, kicking his legs in place as he watched her. Feeling his unwavering eyes, she sucked in a deep breath and plunged down. The water surrounded her and filled her head, until she could hear nothing but the deep sounds of echoing waves and the suspension and pressure of water all around. When her lungs gave up, she resurfaced and gasped, kicking her head back as her short locks stuck to her face. Forcing herself not to rub her face or spit water, she opened her eyes to find the alien still watching her.

No longer blushing as if watching a porno for the very first time, Megamind finally looked more sure of this. He scented the air, and, tail and feet paddling through the water, gracefully met her halfway.

“I could watch that all day,” he sighed, eyes still drinking her in. His gaze dropped down to the surface of water between them, and yes, he could see her breasts on full display through the wet cotton of her top. Nostrils flaring, he swallowed and raised his hands. Before he touched her at all, his gaze met hers and a nonverbal question was made quite clear.

She nodded, smiling coyly.

Swallowing again, he reached out and placed his six fingered hands on either side of her waist. He exhaled noisily and began to trail his curious virgin fingers up her figure. She could feel he was unsure, but he had something most if not all virgin males lacked. Fineness. And graceful, confident, lovely hands. He was making it clear he wanted this.

Roxanne gasped as his tender hands took a turn, and found both of his hands grasping her breasts. He held them carefully in his palms. His mouth opened as if to speak, but all he could make was a high pitched, near soundless cry. If she didn’t know him she would have thought he was in pain, but no. Oh, how his face morphed into a million emotions. Curious, cautious, questioning, lustful, excited. And something else, something she wanted to call affection, but wasn’t sure. She sighed as his hands started to move, testing the weight in his handfuls, to running his thumbs over her hard nipples.

She gasped again, feeling him touch her there. He brows rose in delight, and he did it again, and again, until she let out a little involuntary moan. 

“Do you remember,” he said, breaking his silent study of her chest. Roxanne opened her eyes, not having realized she closed them. “Do you remember,” he repeated, eyes glued to her tits, “when you grew these? Do you remember when you blossomed? Did it hurt?”

Licking her lips, she answered his bizarre yet desperate questions. “I—I don’t have that great of a memory. But.” Her breath hitched as he pinched her nipples. “But I remember being very self conscious. I wanted to wear a bra when they were—when they were still too small. Barely there. Ah!” She abruptly pull away when his fingers became too hard on her sensitive parts, but she let him know she wasn’t upset but beckoning him to follow. He did, eagerly. “It didn’t hurt. It just. Happened.”

“Just happened,” he repeated with a smirk, and way more graceful than she would ever be in the water. She knew how to swim, but it was more of a doggy paddle. How childish. And that’s the last thing she wants this to be. But she can’t swim like Megamind, who glided and cut through the water like a water snake, yet looked as playful as an otter. But otters weren’t all cute and cuddly, were they? No. It disturbed her to think that Megamind was nothing more than a highly advanced animal, bond to her like a mourning dove to its mate, oblivious to the seriousness of this relationship, but she had known him for seven years. He was more than just some alien. If anything, he could be more human than the people on this planet. That thought settled her nerves. 

“I just turned around one day, and,” she continued, but forced herself to hold in a gasp of surprise as his hand touched the back of her calf. She paddled to the side of the pool to hold the edge, keeping herself afloat as her legs quickly grew tired. “Boom,” she splashed the water. “I had boobs.”

He slithered on up to her, unhurried and far from tired, eyes watching her with something knew. It was desire, she realized, and felt a burst of pride in her womanliness. If she was all he could want, could ever want, so damn it to hell if she wasn’t going to blow his mind.

She arched her back until her breasts came over water, but relaxed when he came close to touching her again. “Ah, ah, ah,” she tsks cheekily, gently grasping his hands before they can claim their prize. “What’s the password?”

He stared at her in confusion, and then panic, like a straight A student who forgot to study for an important test. She kicked her head back and laughed merrily. When she met his eyes again he glowered, lowering himself into the water until his eyes were right above. 

“I’m teasing,” she said, and reached for him this time. He quirked an eyebrow but didn’t do anything as she let go of the wall and came up to him. Placing her hands gently on his narrow shoulders, she asks, “how do you take this off?”

Megamind’s eyes go wide. “Off?”

“Yes. Off.”

He licked his lips and, right as she thought he would say he didn’t feel comfortable being naked with her, he pulled at the fabric at his neck and, to her surprise, watched it stretch until the suit slipped down his shoulders. He exposed his blue, flawless skin until he could pull his arms out. Then, he pushed the suit down until it stopped at his waist. His lean chest was shown from the hips up, and she wanted nothing more than to pull him out of the water so she could see him clearly. He hesitates. Thinking he was getting enough courage to take it all off, he surprised her again and said, “Take off yours.”

Wordlessly, yet buzzing with the thrill of being nude in front of a lover for the first time, she grabbed the edges of her tank top and pulled it over her head, taking her time despite the paranoid feeling of sinking to the bottom without the use of her hands to swim. Backing up enough so she wouldn’t kick him, she rid herself of the garment and flung it over to the floor. 

Her skin wasn’t a pale white; Roxanne spent a lot of time outdoors hunting for stories, or, with her parents back home, working out in the sun. She use to spend hours on her childhood horse, most of those times without sunblock. Having been sunburned enough, her skin was a little peachy, and her freckles prominent when she spent all day outside. But her body, not use to the sun as it was forever since she sat outside by a pool in a bikini, was paler than her face, and she felt a sudden wariness about her body. Whereas he was all perfect blue and unblemished, she was freckled and varying in color tones. 

Before she could cover herself Megamind touched her chin with his forefinger. She looked up, blue eyes wide. “Don’t be ashamed,” he said almost desperately, his reassuring touch belying his embarrassed tone and expression. “I’ve never done this before. I’ve never—“ he looked down, but it was at himself and not her exposed breasts. “No one’s ever looked at me like this, at least, where I wanted them to.”

She couldn’t stop the sob that leapt out of her throat at that. She repeated his words in her head and let them sink in, harried and absolutely wretched by what he implied. “Baby,” she murmured, swimming closer, trying not to kick him but their legs brushed against each other anyway, “You are—an absolute sight. Amazing. Wonderful. Gorgeous. I can’t believe you’re actually letting me see you. Sex is—sex is special. It’s okay to be vulnerable with your partner.”

Her partner quirked his mouth, a blush dusting his cheeks. “I know that,” he said, “but you don’t.”

Her eyebrows pinched together. 

“I can smell your fear,” he said, voice dropping in tone. He came close enough that she could feel the huff of his breath on her lips. “If I should be open to you, you should be open to me. Let me see.”

She wasn’t covering herself, her arms out to keep her afloat. So whatever he meant by letting him see was not just letting him see her tits on display. Deciding he just wanted her to relax, as she wanted him to be, she took a deep breath and backed away, only to have him follow her. 

They swam in a compatible, albeit calculating silence, with him just behind her. A few laps around the pool wore her out, and she wished this pool had a shallow end or a set of stairs, at least. Before she could grab onto the edge she swam to, he came up behind her and encircled her waist with his arms. She sighed in content, leaning against his chest as he tucked her head under his chin. He chuffed at her, a sound not unlike a tiger’s chuff, and without hesitating put his hands on her again.

This time he was more confident, exploring both boobs with equal fervor. He didn’t pinch her as hard as before, but did apply enough pressure to each nipple between forefingers and thumbs until she arched against him, pressing her rear end against him. He groaned.

Encouraged, she squirmed against him until he bucked against her, his tail curling around her ankle like he usually does, yet this time he squeezed. He purred, and it vibrated against her bare back. Oh, he was like one big vibrater. Sighing, she turns and captures his lips.

Yes. The kisses. Oh, the kisses. It felt so good. He growled softly and pressed back, pulling her away from the wall of the pool. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, but swam for them both. Gradually she grew less tense of him letting her go. With her legs in the way of his she pulled up her knees and locked his hips between her thighs. Megamind presses against her, groaning again. Eager to hear more of his alien sounds come from that long lovely neck of his, she bucks her pelvis against his, and, to her delight, felt two somethings pressing back.

“Ah, this,” he gasped, pulling away from her mouth, a small string of saliva snapping between their lips. “I like this.”

“Mhmm—oh!”

Megamind is full of surprises. Taken off guard she finds herself being hoisted up onto the edge of the pool, sitting there in nothing but her panties. He smirks between her knees. But the smirk fades, and he grows serious. “Roxanne,” he murmurs, quiet enough that she barely hears him over the steady hum of the pool’s wave maker system. 

“Megamind,” she responds, and meets his eyes with all the certainty. Neither of them knew what was going to happen tonight, or tomorrow. Their future no longer held the certainty that they would wake up in to safety of her bed to coffee and cuddles and giggling over the news reports on where the hell Megamind was. Megamind was here, looking like he was one step from laying her back and taking her here and now. 

Sex. They would be having sex. Beside a pool. In which Minion could walk in on any second.

The thought of Megamind’s only friend (as far as she knew) walking in one them doing the deed was a bit of a turn off. And, with the lingering feeling of his lips on hers fleeing her, she came back to herself. 

Just moments ago she was crying her eyes out in that room as she realized all of this was fake. Oh—oh! She drew in a breath and met his eyes. He’s still floating there in front of her, waiting for her consent. For what exactly, she wasn’t sure, but they—as much as she wanted him she couldn’t live with herself if he didn’t know what was happening.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, lust morphing into concern. She gives him a pained smile and folds her arms over her breasts. 

“Minion and I had a talk.”

As much as Megamind liked Minion, obviously bringing his friend into conversation was a turn off too. He deflated, and looked at her in suspicious worry. “What did he say?”

“Megamind,” she said firmly. “Are you—are you aware—“ she swallowed, wondering if it was too late to say ‘never mind’ and fuck anyway. But he was completely focused now, staring at her. 

“Am I aware of what?”

“Imprinting.”

“What?”

“Imprinting! That’s what he called it!” She cried, and suddenly wished for her top, wet or not, because now she’s cold and bitter again. “He said you—you’re stuck with me,” came her choked sob. “That you can’t have anyone else even if you want to, and that it’s going to kill you because I’m human and can’t feel the same, and I—“

“Stop, stop, stop,” he said, looking pale and sick. “He said—what!? Okay, um,” he looks away and back again, opening his mouth several times but couldn’t form the words he wanted to say. Eventually he groans, not in pleasure this time, but in tremendous frustration. He pinches his nose and hoists himself out too, sitting beside her. But Roxanne cannot stop the tears that start to form.

“Please don’t cry,” he begged as if in pain, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder but hovered in the air before dropping the hand to his lap. His suit still clung to his waist, the arms twisted around like a belt. “I’m so sorry I—please don’t cry.”

Roxanne whipped her face, breath hitching in her throat still. “Did you know?”

He didn’t answer.

“Did you know!?”

“I’m sorry,” he pleaded, sounding close to tears but desperate to get his two cents in. “I—I just wanted—“

“What could you possibly want?” She said, near hysterical. “You’re stuck with me _for the rest of your life_!”

He winced so hard he could have fallen back into the pool. “I know you can’t love me like that, but—“

“What you’re feeling is artificial! None of this,” she gestured between them, “is real!”

“The hell it is!”

She sniffed. “You can’t help it, sweetheart, you—“

“No,” he said, looking mad now. Why? “No it’s not artificial. I’ve loved you since day one.”

Roxanne blinked the tears from her eyes. “What?”

“You heard me,” he said, loosing his bravado as it was swamped by timidness. “Well, maybe not day one, but—you were so young, then. Barely out of your school days and there you were, ready for your first day as a temp for some paper pusher at the news building. You—“ he laughed humorlessly. “You spoke to me. I was disguised as a security guard. You asked for directions for the washroom. I—I just pointed, because I thought you were some annoying swot who thought she was going to rule the news station one day. I was there looking for some information. But you. But you asked for directions, to the washroom, because you needed to reapply your mascara.”

Oh.

Oh my god.

He was that security guard? How could she have forgotten—

He continues. “You looked so ready to start the day, but you went in there and you didn’t come out for at least half an hour. I thought you died or something. So I knocked, and you were crying.”

Roxanne’s first day for working for Channel 8 was a nightmare. She was so sure she was ready, fresh out of University, away from home for the first time, and—Oh, she wasn’t ready. Wasn’t ready for the big city. The second she went in that little bathroom she’d burst out crying, silently, not wanting to alert the severe looking guard just feet away. Instead of fixing her makeup she’d ruined it, and ruined it badly. 

And that guard, whom she never got the name of, asked if she was still breathing. Oh, joy. That just made things worse. She’d cried harder, and after he let himself in (she thought she locked the door?) he calmed her down and gave her a torn of square of toilet paper and told her to dry her tears, wash her face, because no one gets anywhere looking like a raccoon. She’d rubbed her eyes so hard she’d smeared her eyeliner and mascara all around her face, oh god. “I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I’m not ready,” she said, hysterical. But the guard just said, shut up, no one gets anything done saying that. He said, and she would remember it from time to time with a fond smile, that, “You need to take the world by the throat. Show no mercy. Suck up your pity party and go out there and just do it. Show the world what you can do.”

And then he helped her reapply her makeup until she no longer looked like a raccoon. And with one last sniffle, before she could thank the man he shoved her out and told her to get lost before he called security. She hadn’t bothered to wonder why he would say that, if he was the security. 

She never saw that man again. Yet she remembered his words, and though she forgot about the incident over the years she took his words to heart. She went out there like she went to war and took no prisoners. And continued to do so.

“I remember,” she gasped. “That was you?”

“Yes.”

“But—we were alone together! We—did you imp—“

“I don’t think so,” he said. “I just wanted you to shut up and get off the floor so I could do my thing without witnesses. I forgot about it when I returned home. But I saw you a year later when you landed yourself a live report on the reopening of the farmer’s market. Newbies don’t just do that. Not as young as you were. You didn’t need Wayne then.”

“So why…”

“I…” he looks away. “I may have suggested, to one person or another, to spoke to another person or another, who— Well, let’s just say you found yourself an interview with Metro Man himself.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because,” he said carefully, “I wanted to know if you were really made of steel. If you really had it in you. You—were broken that day. In the washroom. But a year later you looked like the sun itself, and I wanted it.”

“You wanted it,” she repeats.

“I wanted you. And so I targeted you alone.”

Roxanne swallowed. It was a lot to taken in. But… “So, all this time you—“

“Roxanne, I’ve loved you for years. I didn’t need to imprint on you to realize I wanted to—I didn’t mean to. I don’t know how it happened, but with all the—the visits and the—I couldn’t stay away. And I knew what was happening. And I did nothing to stop it.”

She’s silent.

“I am selfish. I always will be. I take what I want and I do what I want. But you. I can’t. I—“ he inhales loudly. “I knew I had bonded to you. I didn’t care. I won’t hold you to it anyway.”

“But—if I go off with somewhat else or—it could—“

“Kill me? I know.”

She stares at him in shock, but he stares at the ripples in the pool. 

“I won’t be able to live with myself knowing you found love somewhere else, bond or not. This way when you do leave it’ll be quicker than dying of a broken heart.”

“Megamind,” she cries, her tears kicking into full gear. “Don’t say that. Don’t say things like that. You had a life, freedom—“

“Oh?” He laughs darkly. “I set myself up for an early and painful and glorious death in fire, Miss Ritchi, at a very early age. But watching you go off and having a family would be the worst. This way I can know I’ll go quickly.”

“Stop! Don’t talk about dying!” She turns around and slaps him.

The sound bounces off the walls like a siren. Quick and sharp. Megamind, looking ready to accept death the moment she leaves him now stares at her in shock, cupping his cheek. It hurt her hand, too. 

“Don’t sit there and just say like my emotions are meaningless fickle things.”

“I didn’t—“

“Oh yes you did, you son of a bitch. Am I so shallow that you expect me to leave you for someone like Wayne? Am I not good enough to commit to a relationship longer than a month? Did you expect just a quick fuck and then to send me on my way so you can sand down your casket?”

“Rox—“

“Megamind, you _idiot_ , I love you! I realized I loved you for a while! Does that mean nothing to you!?”

All he could do was stare at her in disbelieve. Good.

“You love me,” he breathed, like he couldn’t believe it.

“I’ve said it before,” she said wetly, sniffling. 

“But I thought… _You love me?_ ”

“I’m hearing a broken record,” she laughed, but this time it let out some of her stress and she wiped her eyes. “Yes, I love you, Megamind.”

“Oh,” he gasped, and suddenly she found herself being wrapped up in his arms. Crying, but this time in relief and happiness, she buried her face in his neck and kissed his skin repeatedly, unashamed of her breasts pressed against his bare chest. “You love me. I love you. _You love me._ ”

“You love me,” she squealed, laughing through her tears (of happiness!). 

“You love me,” he repeats, pressing his face in her hair. “Oh Roxanne, I thought you would hate me for lying to you this whole time.”

“It was hell, thinking this was a lie. Your feelings were a lie. I thought you would just go away someday. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. It—I want this. I want _you_.”

“Roxanne, oh Roxanne, please, please I must know—“

“Yes?”

“Please. When all of this is over—let’s run away. Far away together. Be my wife. Till death do us part. Forever and ever and—“

“Megamind, oh—“ she pulls back, smiling and still crying. “Are you proposing to me?”

“Yes, say yes,” he urged, and uprooted them both by tumbling back into the water. She flinched as they plunged back into the water, finding it cold again, and dazed as he held her to him, swimming for them both. “Be my wife.”

“Yes.”

“My wife. My mate. My little thing. Mine— _Mine._ “

“Yours.”

“You love me.”

“You love me,” she echos.

“I wanna do things to you I’ve only read about in books,” he breathed, his electric green eyes buzzing with fire as he purred. His passion for her was almost palpable. Passion for _her._

“That’s the single sexiest thing I’ve ever been told,” she laughs, clinging to him. “But first I wanna to see you naked.”

Instantly he sprung into action. She would have liked to watch him put on a show, but oh, her body was agreeing with his quick shucking of his suit, until all she saw was his blue figure. Unable to get a good view of him, as only their heads were out of the water, she reached down to pull off her own panties.

“Wait,” he said, and dunked down into the water before she could respond. She watches as he swims down, and, like shark, circles her once, twice, and—

“Oh!” She squeaks, feeling his hands on her hips, tugging at her cotton underwear. He plucks at the little black ribbon, watching it snap back. She shivers. Before she can do anything stupid like swim away, he pulls down her panties, swimming around and farther down until they came off her feet. Oooh, she had never skinny dipped before. It felt… a little weird, but. Also arousing.

He comes back up with her panties in his mouth, between his wicked sharp teeth. He then holds her sodden cotton up in the air like a kid who won a prize at the fair.

“I found the password~”

“Get over here,” she growls, grabbing the panties from him and flinging them away, forgotten before they even land. Megamind smirks and pulls her to him, and she wraps her legs around his waist, naked as the day she was born. She gasps, feeling both of his members on either side of her sex. His head drops back, and for a moment he stops kicking his legs and they start to go down, but she nips his lower lip until he pulls them back up. “To the floor,” she gasps.

Without hesitation he complies, and they crawl up out of the water, sloshing more onto the growing puddle. She barely has any time before she’s being pushing down and rolled over onto her back. With a broad smile on her face, Megamind throws himself down beside her, pulling her to his side.

This time, when she looks at him, there’s no problem. The first time she barely saw anything, too afraid to get caught in the act. The second, she had walked in on him accidentally. 

But now he’s splayed out, trusting and eager and willing. He’s lean and muscled, without scars despite all the times he’s cut something or nearly blown himself up. His tail, now in its full glory, flicks back and forth on the floor, sloshing water around. 

His trail of hair at his navel travels down to his groin, where it covers two sheaths in the shape of a V. Those sheaths would have been small, but no longer could they hold what they hid.

Proudly protruding from both were two very red, very strange members. They looked like something that belonged on a dragon. Ribbed, arrow headed—they bobbed in the air, straining against his belly. At the very base of both they looked a soft lilac, before they darkened and turned a violent shade of scarlet. She stared, marveled by the very new sight and wondering how this would work. 

“Can I touch them?” She asks. 

“Whatever—“ He gasps, bucking his hips. “Whatever you want.”

Not to startle him by grabbing for the good like a speedy thief, she gently reaches down and strokes the underside of the right member. Like any man, his breath hitches and he struggles to stay still, but his body betrays his wishes as they twitch under her light touch. Stroking him again, she switches to the other, repeats it, and returns to the other. She wraps her hand around it. She can almost let her fingers touch her thumb, but she’s not squeezing him. Neither one was so terribly thick, but he was a really good length, and if—if it was possible—how would both feel inside of—Oh.

Roxanne leans over and kisses his chest, grasping him a little firmer and starting to move her fist up and down his left cock. He jerks and gasps, mutters something in a language that’s not from this planet, and reaches down to touch its lonely twin.

“I want to be—wanna make love to you,” he gasps, and Roxanne kisses him soundly on the lips before letting go. He stumbles, shaking, shivering, over her, and stares down her body like he doesn’t know where to start. Her heart clenches and it feels like falling in love all over again, and she raises her knees and parts her legs.

His eyes glaze over, looking at her swollen lips. “You—you’re excited,” he said, and lays a hand on her pubic bone, touching her springy hairs. “You’re _wet_.”

“You can touch me,” she encourages.

He all but licks his lips and moves his hand down, his skin burning against hers. Using more care than he could possibly use, he uses his thumb to spread part of her labia to the side. Megamind groaned and brushed his thumb back over, smearing her silky, dusty pink tissues. He glides over her clit, and she jolts, but he doesn’t stop his thumb’s first visit to vagina town.

He smears her warm sticky fluids around her, filling the air with her scent. She really hoped he didn’t find her musk offensive. Some guys didn’t like it. But Megamind—oh he _licked his lips_.

“Fish,” he says.

She jolts, this time not by pleasure. “What?”

“Like fish, but—“

“Oh my—“ Fish!? She smelled like _fish!?_ Oh lord, sweet fucking hell—

“I like it,” he said, unwavering. “And by fish I mean… something I just caught. Sweet and ready to be eaten. But I’ve never had a fish like this before. It’s sweet. Nothing rotten. It’s _fresh_. And I want to try it, until I can’t possibly get anymore unless I shrunk myself to a microscopic size and enlarged the remains, so I can eat that too.”

Roxanne can’t tell if his talk is extremely sexy or extremely weird. A little of both, but she surprises herself by spreading herself wider and throwing her head back far enough she nearly hits the ground. He doesn’t wait, and seems to be lost in his own world that consists of nothing but her pussy.

Nor does he give warning when he slides down to her pelvis level and sticks out the tip of his tongue to find her entrance. Nearly yelping, she bucks and looks on in surprise and wantonness as he draws his tongue back in, smacking, licking his lips as his eyes glaze over, pupils blown. He chuffs, letting her see a view of all his sharp jagged teeth.

He bends down again and goes at her more vigorously—so vigorously she actually hopes he doesn’t bite her. His tongue slithers out, long and slick and pronged at the end of those several inches of muscle. Over and over and over again does he taste and prod her, never going where she wants him to go to sate her rapidly rising need to come. She bucks and jerks and tries to direct his head to go where she wants, but he bats off her hands and grabs her hips, sucking on her now. “Megamind!” Roxanne cries out, shaking and weeping.

That evil tongue of his finally makes its mark and slides in, going farther than any tongue before him had ever before. It was strange and new and bizarre, like having a tentacle in her. His tongue wiggled and twisted and thrusted until—he hits her favorite place inside her—his nose is against her clit—

She’s coming, and coming, and coming—her ears drown in ringing, her vision spots white, her nerves are one fire. She’s dying, and flying, and falling all at once, she’s breaking and growing and—

Shaking violently, gasping for breath as she wonders who was screaming just now. Not Megamind, who still had his tongue in her like a bear trying to get honey from a hive. And honey he did get. 

Finally, with a shaky press of her hand on his head, he pulls away looking smug. She has quite literally painted his entire lower face with her juices, but he licks that up too, not unlike a cat who got the cream. 

“I quite liked that,” he says, as if commenting over a lecture. “Very nice. Very tasty.”

Tasty. He found her to be tasty. 

He really was an alien.

“Com’er,” she wheezes, and he carefully covers her body with his. Together, they guide one of his members to her entrance. He groans, and bucks in clumsily like a newborn colt. His other shaft smears something sticky and wet on her thigh, but she’s too busy looking at the swirls of green in his wide, disbelieving eyes. 

“I’m—“ he gasps, holding still as he slide all the way in. “I’m in you.”

“Yes,” she sighs, trying to open her legs as wide as they could go. His cock is so—so good. It rubs in all the right places and fits so good inside her! Roxanne didn’t think she could come again, but as he shifted above her she guessed again. Her back was hurting, but fuck that. This was amazing. “You won’t hurt me, sweetheart.”

“Ugh,” Megamind moans, and pulls back and thrusts forward again, sloppy but determined. “You call me sweetheart. And baby. And. Oh. No one calls me those things. I’m not—oh—sweet.” His head lolls to the side, his long blue neck exposed and vulnerable. She leans up and nibbles him, sucks, marks him as hers, and he thrusts back in harder than before. His other cock is smearing more precum on her skin and his, cradled between them and fucking _them_. “I’m a-ah-a bad person. Not—even—human.”

“No,” she wraps her arms around him, throwing her legs over his straining thighs. His tail immediately wraps around her ankle. “You’re wonderful. You’re perfect. You’re best just the way—oh—you are.”

Megamind looses it then, and bucks wildly and without aim, arching over her and crying out. Eager to kiss him as he comes, she leans up and captures his mouth. He moans and presses back, his tongue finding hers and giving her a taste of her own essence. “My sweetheart,” she whispers against his lilac lips, and he shouts and cusses and swears profanities she’s never heard him use before. A very hot fluid spills into her, and paints her belly and waist and smears it all around as he rides out his orgasm. 

“Roxanne,” he cries, collapsing on top of her. “Oh, my Roxanne. My precious Roxanne.”

“Yes,” she arches against him. “My Megamind.”

~.~.~.~

His semen is a silvery whitish gray.

And it glows. 

“It’s perfectly normal,” he reassures her as she examines the little glob on her fingers, holding her to his chest as they find themselves yet again in the water, washing away their sweat and shared fluids. He would have been content to lay there on the floor in their own filth but she cramped up, not use to floor sex (or sex at all, it’s been so long..). When he finally caught his breath and raised himself off her, his softening members retracting back home, he looked uncertain and wanted to know if she had come too. She hadn’t, but oddly enough seeing him come was enough, and she just wanted to bask in the afterglow. When he rolled off her, gasping still, she looked down and balked.

It sparkled and shone like nail polish, and smelled a little like sunblock, wet dog, and cheep fruity perfume. Not exactly pleasant, and she feared she would not be able to handle giving him a blow job. Don’t let it taste like sunblock (or dog!), she thought feverishly. Without giving her lover a glance she swiped a finger through the smears on her and brought it to her mouth. It didn’t smell horrid, but—she licked it, not even thinking if it was a good idea. What if it was unsafe to ingest alien semen? Then again, he hadn’t batted an eye when he went down on her, or wondered if her fluids could hurt him. But semen is different, right?

It tasted like… she didn’t know what it tasted like. It was a very lingering taste, and she struggle to decide if she liked it or abhorred it. It made her think of the times she’s licked dry red wine off the side of a glass. Red wine. 

Megamind hiccuped, having been watching her the whole time. She smirked and made an attempt to sit up, and immediately regretted it. Oh, how she missed her mattress. Her fiancé scooped her up and quickly brought her to the pool again, but not before she could ask if this was what his semen normally looked (and smelled) like.

“Just asking,” she sighs, wrapped around him as he swam in place. “It’s very new to me.”

“Hmm.”

“But,” Roxanne places a soft kiss on his nose, “I want to get very intimate with it.”

He chokes, sputtering nonsense before he kisses her properly. 

Neither notice the sound of the door being opened roughly, and, gently closed shut.


End file.
